It's been just over two years since I last posted. Honestly, I can't believe I'm back. I thought that last post was a nice way to end my blogging journey. I was in labor (HORRIBLE!) and I did give birth to a delightful little boy who turned two on August 22nd of this year. The past two years have been incredible. My little Brady is adorable, charming, fun-loving, silly, super smart and incredibly sweet. He will be an incredible big brother! Yes, it's true... I'm pregnant with number two and I'm back to what feels like square one. I'm about 10.5 or so weeks into the pregnancy, due 5/18 and I've been feeling like total crap since about six weeks. Nauseous 24/7 and incredibly tired. After I had Brady I went back to normal. I could eat everything I wanted. I would start my day with a luxurious cup of coffee with frothy milk and end it with a nice glass of wine and a dinner that I lovingly prepared. Life was good. So good, that I completely forgot how terrible pregnancy is (for me). How emotional I could become at the drop of a dime, how angry I would feel that I'm so sick and others get to float through pregnancy on a cloud of joy and happiness, and how dependent it makes me on others (to cook, clean, care).
I think I also underestimated taking care of a toddler while pregnant. When I was pregnant with #1, I could nap at my leisure and lie on the couch like a lump. But now I have this delightful little boy who demands my attention as a play mate. He requires diaper changes, meals and lots of snacks. All things considered, Brady is pretty great at playing by himself. He will occupy himself with his choo choos for a good hour while mommy cowers in the corner. I've also recently introduced him to TV... something I resisted for two years, but now have to embrace. And I do. He went from zero TV to between 1-2 hours a day. It's not ideal, but I'm in survival mode and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Doc McStuffins, Curious George and Thomas the Tank are my arsenal of tools.
Once we found out #2 was on the way, we decided that it was probably a good idea to send #1 to school. We had been toying with the idea but since he's young for his "grade," 2's, we thought we would wait for a 3's program. All of his best friends are currently attending 2's programs in the city and Princeton and they love it. So, this was a perfect solution. I did some research in the area (oh yeah, did I tell you... we moved to the 'burbs... a bucolic little slice of heaven in NJ, called Fair Haven... more on that later). I did some research and found that most schools in the area only took kids who were 2.5. This was disappointing. I started making phone calls and visiting various pre-schools. I was looking to enroll him over a month after school began, so I was prepared for a challenge. I wanted something warm, inviting and that just felt comfortable. I was surprised at how hard that was to find. I visited the big, fancy school with all the amenities, spanish class, yoga class, etc... I liked it, but the class seemed too big to me (16 kids+). I visited the really "homey" style pre-school that's in a house. It was ok... the class was smaller but it just lacked something... Can't even put my finger on it. A few more school visits and I ended up calling the local temple in the town next to ours. Despite advertising that they only accepted kids 2.5+, they were flexible and if Brady attended the school, he wouldn't even be the youngest in his class. A little girl that was born in September was already enrolled. This sounded promising. Anyone who knows me (and my husband), knows that we are the least religious people you could find. We celebrate nothing besides birthdays, anniversaries and present-giving season. Despite this, I went for a tour. It just felt right. It smelled like my temple growing up, had a warmth that you could feel and the class was a small six kids. The kids seemed nice... and there was a teacher and teachers aide who seemed really engaged. The school's director was also really sweet. AND, this school didn't require me to make him lunch or snacks... That's huge!! All I would have to do was drop off my kid with a backpack and a water and then I would have the freedom I longed for. The freedom to nap at will, shop, fix up the house, nap, eat, nap and just be nauseous on the couch before I nap. The first day of school rolls around. I arrive, SO EXCITED FOR THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, and am swiftly slapped in the face with something I didn't expect. Separation anxiety. There was no tearful goodbye... There was a quick, mommy's going bye bye, give me a kissy... to which he obliged and mommy was free while Brady went to play with toys. PERFECT! I went home and within an hour was called back to school. Once Brady lifted his head from the choo choos he discovered and realized mommy wasn't there, he went bananas. I don't know what I was thinking. I had never left my kid in a strange location with people he didn't know... Why did I think he would just be ok? How naive.
When I got back to school we calmed him down and I joined the class. I didn't realize, but this would be my first day of pre-school and far from my last. I've been attending pre-school Tue/Thurs/Fri from 9 - 12:30 for the past 3 weeks. We've had ups and downs. Sometimes I sit in the classroom, sometimes my chair is outside the classroom. Every day has brought about a different experience. We've had good days (he finally joined the class for circle time!!) and we've had bad days (he screamed at any kid who came near him or wouldn't leave my side.) Separation anxiety from mommy is only part of the issue. He seems to be terrified of other kids. That's why I knew a small class was the way to go. When all the kids start to play with one set of toys, he wants to play with something else... He runs (quickly!) from any interaction with other kids. I think their unpredictability scares him. I'm really lucky that it's a nice, nice, nice group of kids. No bullies, though there is one boy who plays a little more hands-on... But he's a sweet kid and just used to being with older brothers. Seeing Brady's interaction with the other kids (or lack thereof) was really sad to me. It made me wonder... what did I do wrong? Why is my kid afraid of all of the other kids? I've been attending play dates with him since he was 6 weeks old and enrolled him in his first Gymboree class at 3 months. Heck, this is a NYC kid... he should be used to being surrounded by people and chaos!! He's been on the subway a million times, spent his second year of life attending music and gym classes with other kids, running around the crowded Museum of History on the cold days and hanging out on the crowded jungle gym at the playground. Granted, he has no siblings or cousins that he spends lots of time with... he did have his BFF, our next door neighbor Hazel and the two of them played really nicely together (though she did usually cater to him... something I didn't fully realize until now).
Well, this all leads me to today... Why did I resurrect the blog? I didn't feel like working this morn... I'm at a local coffee shop down the street from my house (Booskerdoo!!!), hiding out so that my mom can take Brady to school (hoping that he does better without me there). I actually got up at 7am this morning to sneak out of my house before Brady woke up so that we could avoid an epic meltdown at my departure (that would inevitably ruin our chances of a good day at school). My mom is going to be bringing him to school in about 30 minutes (where she will camp out in my place) and then I can go home, shower and get ready for my second pre-natal appointment.
I have so much more to tell you, but I just don't have it in me right now... I think it's time for breakfast #2.
xoxo
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Is Today the Day?
It's 7am and I haven't slept more than 4 hours since 10pm last night... I woke up at about midnight just not feeling very good... Stomach hurt, almost like cramps and lower back hurt... then I went to pee and noticed that the tp had a pink/red tinged discharge. (If this is tmi for you, you may want to stop reading my blog now... I would imagine that over the next few hours or days, however long this lasts, there is the potential for things to get more graphic)... I woke up hubby, showed him the evidence and we both jumped on our iPhones to see what it meant... Is this the mucous plug? Bloody show? What does this mean? Early labor? We both determined that whatever it was, it was normal and if I wasn't having contractions, we should just try to get back to sleep... Hubby fell asleep a bit easier than I did... I eventually dozed off and slept 2 more hours... Of course, I woke up a few more times to pee and at 5 or so decided that I needed a change of scenery so I came out to the couch... I had a bowl of cereal, watched a little Dateline and now I'm just sitting here wondering what's going on... Is today the day?
Despite all of the books I've read and my incessant googling, I have no idea what's happening right now... The baby is still moving around... I have this menstrual crampy like feeling... definite pressure in my lower back and now when I pee and wipe, there is a little discharge with a brown tinge to it...
I am comforted to know that some progress is being made... I just wonder how much...
According to Babycenter.com, the following is a "sign" that labor will happen in the next few days or weeks:
You may pass your mucus plug — the small amount of thickened mucus that has sealed your cervical canal during the last nine months — if your cervix begins to dilate as you get close to labor.
The plug may come out in a lump or as increased vaginal discharge over the course of several days. The mucus may be tinged with brown, pink, or red blood, which is why it's referred to as "bloody show."
You may pass your mucus plug — the small amount of thickened mucus that has sealed your cervical canal during the last nine months — if your cervix begins to dilate as you get close to labor.
The plug may come out in a lump or as increased vaginal discharge over the course of several days. The mucus may be tinged with brown, pink, or red blood, which is why it's referred to as "bloody show."
On WhattoExpect.com it says:
Knowing that you can go any day, you should be watching out for signs of labor: regular contractions, rupture of membranes (water breaking), diarrhea or nausea (many women experience these types of digestive disturbances just before the onset of labor), spurts of energy, loss of the mucous plug, and bloody show (which is a sign of labor, not a gory new horror movie).
During pregnancy, your cervical opening becomes blocked with a thick plug of mucus that prevents bacteria from entering the uterus. When your cervix begins to loosen, this mucous plug is dislodged. Some women notice the passage of the mucous plug (what exactly is that in the toilet?), others don't (especially if you're the flush-and-rush type). Unfortunately, the discharge of the mucous plug is in no way a reliable indicator of when labor might begin. It could be hours, days, or even weeks before real contractions begin.
A somewhat more reliable indicator of impending labor is the passage of the bloody show — a stringy mucous discharge tinged with pink or brown blood. Such "bleeding" means the blood vessels in the cervix are rupturing as it dilates and effaces. Once you've watched the bloody show, labor is probably just a day or two away — though don't try to set your watch (or your labor stopwatch) to it, since it's not a definite timetable. But do make sure your bag is packed.
So, now the question is... did I see the "bloody show" or the "mucous plug"? Frankly, I'm a bit confused by the difference besides that one means labor is more imminent than the other... I never saw a mucous plug or anything that resembles what's being described above...
I guess it's back to the waiting game... I'm going to lie down and see if I can get a bit more sleep... If today is the day, I need to try and rest up to squirt this little sucker out.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Lobster makes me happy
Why is it that after feeling like total crap all day, at 9:30pm, I feel good. I don't understand... Why did I have to suffer all day to get to a point where I'm feeling decent? It just doesn't seem fair because now I'm wide awake and doing work and being productive and I'm setting myself up to have yet another crappy day because I won't get any sleep!
Oh well, I guess I will take what I can get.
After I wrote that last post the day did improve slightly... After a little sob session when hubby came home (I was feeling sorry for myself and as soon as I saw him, burst into tears) we went to meet with another pediatrician, took a long walk and then went out for lobsters (there is this place near our apartment that does $25 lobster and a beer night, with fries). It was delicious and just what I needed...
Oh well, I guess I will take what I can get.
After I wrote that last post the day did improve slightly... After a little sob session when hubby came home (I was feeling sorry for myself and as soon as I saw him, burst into tears) we went to meet with another pediatrician, took a long walk and then went out for lobsters (there is this place near our apartment that does $25 lobster and a beer night, with fries). It was delicious and just what I needed...
A zombie with a parasite
Today I feel like total crap. I'm ridiculously tired on top of being ridiculously tired of being pregnant. Last night and up until now I've slept in intervals of 2.5 hours and have been up for hours in between. I'm finding it very hard to function... I guess this is a glimpse of what early motherhood will be like, but the kicker is that I don't yet have the baby... Right now, all I have is this massive belly that is clearly and quite literally sucking the life out of me.
To say I'm grumpy and cranky would be a massive understatement. I'm feeling a bit like a prisoner too... I want to get out and do things (and even want to do things at home) but I can barely keep transitioning from the couch to the bed and back. I'm so damn sleepy and sore. And on top of that, I'm still working... Not more than a few hours a day, but I'm working and that's becoming increasingly challenging when I have days like today where I feel brain dead. It's fine on days when I'm feeling good... It's a nice distraction... But today I want nothing more than to lie around like the zombie I feel like...
I know that labor and delivery is not going to be fun, but at the end, at least I will have a sweet little baby to care for and I will feel like the tiredness and discomfort is serving a purpose... Now it just feels like the icing on the cake of an already challenging pregnancy. Oh, and did I mention, I hate cake (and I don't really like icing either).
To say I'm grumpy and cranky would be a massive understatement. I'm feeling a bit like a prisoner too... I want to get out and do things (and even want to do things at home) but I can barely keep transitioning from the couch to the bed and back. I'm so damn sleepy and sore. And on top of that, I'm still working... Not more than a few hours a day, but I'm working and that's becoming increasingly challenging when I have days like today where I feel brain dead. It's fine on days when I'm feeling good... It's a nice distraction... But today I want nothing more than to lie around like the zombie I feel like...
I know that labor and delivery is not going to be fun, but at the end, at least I will have a sweet little baby to care for and I will feel like the tiredness and discomfort is serving a purpose... Now it just feels like the icing on the cake of an already challenging pregnancy. Oh, and did I mention, I hate cake (and I don't really like icing either).
All baby
I went to the doctor today and my BP is good, weight is on track and Brady's heartbeat is strong. I'm still only dilated 1cm, but again, that means nothing... I'm measuring at 39 weeks and the doctor is guessing that he's about 7+lbs. She felt around my belly and all she could say, was, wow, you're all baby! It's pretty wild. When you feel my stomach, all you feel is this giant, super rock hard mass...I have no other pregnant bellies to compare it to, but based on the doctor's reaction I can only guess that other bellies have some softer spots where baby isn't occupying...
Granted, doctors can often be "off" when it comes to estimating the weight, but I just have a feeling that she's not and he's not going to be a little pipsqueak like me and my brother were (both in the 6lb+ range). I'm thinking that he's going to cook for another week or so, which means he's only going to get bigger...
Today was a tired day... All day I was pretty fatigued. I actually passed out at about 8pm. I woke back up at around 10:30 and now I'm wide awake having some cereal and watching tv. It's so funny... every day when I'm up in the night like this, I open the fridge and I see the eggs and milk staring back at me with their expiration dates emblazoned on the side... The milk expires on the 23rd and the eggs on the 27th (my due date). I stare at them and wonder, what will happen first, will this milk expire or will Brady arrive? It's odd for me to think about the fact that the next eggs and milk we buy will have an expiration date past the time when Brady will likely be here...
The doctor told me that they won't let me go past 42 weeks and if he doesn't come naturally by 41 weeks, they will induce me. I have my weekly doc appointment scheduled for next Wed and if he doesn't arrive by Friday, I have a follow-up appointment at the hospital to get a biophysical and non stress test, which is basically an in-depth sonogram to make sure the baby is ok, I have enough fluid, etc... That's when they would determine if I need to be induced earlier than 41 weeks.
At this point, I feel like my life is set to that jeopardy music... do do, do do, do do, do, do do, do do, do, dododododo... Just waiting for the answer (i.e. baby) to be revealed!
Granted, doctors can often be "off" when it comes to estimating the weight, but I just have a feeling that she's not and he's not going to be a little pipsqueak like me and my brother were (both in the 6lb+ range). I'm thinking that he's going to cook for another week or so, which means he's only going to get bigger...
Today was a tired day... All day I was pretty fatigued. I actually passed out at about 8pm. I woke back up at around 10:30 and now I'm wide awake having some cereal and watching tv. It's so funny... every day when I'm up in the night like this, I open the fridge and I see the eggs and milk staring back at me with their expiration dates emblazoned on the side... The milk expires on the 23rd and the eggs on the 27th (my due date). I stare at them and wonder, what will happen first, will this milk expire or will Brady arrive? It's odd for me to think about the fact that the next eggs and milk we buy will have an expiration date past the time when Brady will likely be here...
The doctor told me that they won't let me go past 42 weeks and if he doesn't come naturally by 41 weeks, they will induce me. I have my weekly doc appointment scheduled for next Wed and if he doesn't arrive by Friday, I have a follow-up appointment at the hospital to get a biophysical and non stress test, which is basically an in-depth sonogram to make sure the baby is ok, I have enough fluid, etc... That's when they would determine if I need to be induced earlier than 41 weeks.
At this point, I feel like my life is set to that jeopardy music... do do, do do, do do, do, do do, do do, do, dododododo... Just waiting for the answer (i.e. baby) to be revealed!
Monday, August 15, 2011
No rhyme or reason
I am so confused by what's going on with my body right now... The past two days I've felt crappy. Was super tired/lethargic, ridiculously swollen/achy, not feeling well and pretty grumpy. Then today I woke up all spritely, in a good mood, feeling decent and just wide awake (even now at 12:15am and without a nap!) I just don't understand what's happening. There is absolutely no rhyme or reason. Oh well, I guess that's going to be the name of the game for my life moving forward...
I keep waffling between feelings of excitement and anxiety over labor and life post-hospital. I mean, I can't wait to meet Brady! Dying to just see him!!! But then I think about labor... when is it going to start? how's it going to go down? I'm pretty rational, so I know that it's silly to worry about these things... It's just going to happen how it happens... but, it's just such an unknown ... I didn't realize that the start of labor is such a medical mystery... Nobody knows why it starts, so there is nothing that anybody can tell me about when it's going to happen or how it's going to play out. I'm too Type A for this...
What I do know is that my belly is absolutely HUGE! When I think it can't get any bigger, it does... But somehow this little (or not so little) guy still moves around! He is pretty active, which can get painful sometimes... All of the emails I get from the various pregnancy websites say he's the size of a watermelon, but honestly, I've never seen a watermelon as big as my stomach (not even those ones we used to fill up with vodka in college)... I don't even know what I would equate this belly to. And my hands are like little paws... My little fingers look more like sausages stuffed in casings! My husband claims that my face looks the same (not swollen) but I don't really believe him...
This weekend we went and bought a new camera... This is a purchase we have been deliberating for quite some time. We couldn't decide between a DSLR or a high quality compact point and shoot. We heard arguments for both, did tons of research and ultimately decided that since we have a point and shoot already, it was time to get a nice, high quality DSLR to really capture amazing photos of the little man. They have such faster shutter speeds and we want to be sure we don't miss any of the adorable faces he is going to make! The challenge with the DSLR is figuring out how to use it. We got the Nikon D5100 and it's no joke! Hubby is already much better with it than I am, but we've both had a great time figuring it out and hopefully by the time Brady arrives, we will have it down cold! The only problem is that all hubby seems to be shooting is me and my bulbous belly (nothing much else to shoot in our apartment and it rained all day today)... It really does look ridiculous... Kind of like someone stuffed a Santa suit under my clothes!
I'm gonna go and try to get some sleep... wish me luck!
I keep waffling between feelings of excitement and anxiety over labor and life post-hospital. I mean, I can't wait to meet Brady! Dying to just see him!!! But then I think about labor... when is it going to start? how's it going to go down? I'm pretty rational, so I know that it's silly to worry about these things... It's just going to happen how it happens... but, it's just such an unknown ... I didn't realize that the start of labor is such a medical mystery... Nobody knows why it starts, so there is nothing that anybody can tell me about when it's going to happen or how it's going to play out. I'm too Type A for this...
What I do know is that my belly is absolutely HUGE! When I think it can't get any bigger, it does... But somehow this little (or not so little) guy still moves around! He is pretty active, which can get painful sometimes... All of the emails I get from the various pregnancy websites say he's the size of a watermelon, but honestly, I've never seen a watermelon as big as my stomach (not even those ones we used to fill up with vodka in college)... I don't even know what I would equate this belly to. And my hands are like little paws... My little fingers look more like sausages stuffed in casings! My husband claims that my face looks the same (not swollen) but I don't really believe him...
This weekend we went and bought a new camera... This is a purchase we have been deliberating for quite some time. We couldn't decide between a DSLR or a high quality compact point and shoot. We heard arguments for both, did tons of research and ultimately decided that since we have a point and shoot already, it was time to get a nice, high quality DSLR to really capture amazing photos of the little man. They have such faster shutter speeds and we want to be sure we don't miss any of the adorable faces he is going to make! The challenge with the DSLR is figuring out how to use it. We got the Nikon D5100 and it's no joke! Hubby is already much better with it than I am, but we've both had a great time figuring it out and hopefully by the time Brady arrives, we will have it down cold! The only problem is that all hubby seems to be shooting is me and my bulbous belly (nothing much else to shoot in our apartment and it rained all day today)... It really does look ridiculous... Kind of like someone stuffed a Santa suit under my clothes!
I'm gonna go and try to get some sleep... wish me luck!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Two weeks to go!
I went to the doctor earlier this week for my checkup and learned that I'm one whole cm dilated! And apparently my cervix is soft... Both of those points indicate pretty much nothing, but that I'm getting closer... My doctor seemed happy with my progress. My strep B test was negative (yay!), Brady's heartbeat is strong and my weight is on track. So... all in all, things are good. The doc thinks I will likely deliver near my due date... but who knows. She gave me the little talk about 5-1-1 (go to the hospital once contractions are 5 minutes apart, 1 minute in duration for 1 hour), provided me with a copy of my lab work and sent me on my way.
I dropped off all my pre-registration paperwork at the hospital and have been just trying to make my way through my to-do list and all of my baby care and breastfeeding books.
Right now, though, I'm suffering from a bit of insomnia... It's 12:48am and I am wide awake... I've been trying to sleep for about 2 hours and I give up... My sleep lately has been so wackadoo... I've been having a hard time falling asleep at night, but then I sleep until 11am or so, which is really annoying... I don't like wasting the day (especially when I have so much I want to do before Brady arrives).
I thought that as he got bigger and more crowded his movement would slow down a bit... But, right now he's going absolutely bonkers... contorting my belly like you would never believe... How could anyone sleep through this? And it's worrying me that he's doing this at 1am... I don't need a little night owl...
My energy level lately has also been all over the map... I will have a ton of energy and take on a project, like vacuuming and mopping the whole apartment and then I will just crash... then an hour later, I will be inclined to start something new, like writing thank you notes for the many wonderful gifts we received, or organizing photos into albums... Then I will need a nap... It's just so back and forth ... But I think this is par for the course.
Honestly, I am just so over this pregnancy. I want my body back. I know that this insomnia will turn into sleep deprivation in a few short weeks, but I don't care... I'm just ready for him to be here. It's been a long 38 weeks and I'm ready to meet this little man.
Right now, though, I'm suffering from a bit of insomnia... It's 12:48am and I am wide awake... I've been trying to sleep for about 2 hours and I give up... My sleep lately has been so wackadoo... I've been having a hard time falling asleep at night, but then I sleep until 11am or so, which is really annoying... I don't like wasting the day (especially when I have so much I want to do before Brady arrives).
I thought that as he got bigger and more crowded his movement would slow down a bit... But, right now he's going absolutely bonkers... contorting my belly like you would never believe... How could anyone sleep through this? And it's worrying me that he's doing this at 1am... I don't need a little night owl...
My energy level lately has also been all over the map... I will have a ton of energy and take on a project, like vacuuming and mopping the whole apartment and then I will just crash... then an hour later, I will be inclined to start something new, like writing thank you notes for the many wonderful gifts we received, or organizing photos into albums... Then I will need a nap... It's just so back and forth ... But I think this is par for the course.
Honestly, I am just so over this pregnancy. I want my body back. I know that this insomnia will turn into sleep deprivation in a few short weeks, but I don't care... I'm just ready for him to be here. It's been a long 38 weeks and I'm ready to meet this little man.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The waiting game
All day today I've had a bit of a tummy ache/upset stomach... It resulted in a fairly unproductive day... I got some errands done, but didn't accomplish nearly as much as I'd hoped. Instead I spent lots of time googling what my tummy ache may be about... sign of labor coming?? Who knows? All I know is that I'm not comfortable and I can't' sleep... I have heartburn and I'm ready to have this baby! Though, I'm not... Terrified of labor still...
Brady has also been ridiculously active today... moving nonstop and actually causing me quite a bit of discomfort. He clearly has so little room to move, yet he's been performing acrobatics all day, making it hard for me to breathe! He's all up in my rib cage, poking at my sides... It actually hurts... I think he's trying to break out!! Hopefully he's as excited to meet me, as I am to meet him!
Uggggh, I'm just so uncomfortable right now... No matter what I do, I can't seem to feel good. I'm peeing almost every hour and I really just want to go to sleep, but I don't even feel that tired... Every time I lie down, I start feeling heartburn. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night... Hopefully, I will get some sleep.
I'm so happy that the end is near...
Brady has also been ridiculously active today... moving nonstop and actually causing me quite a bit of discomfort. He clearly has so little room to move, yet he's been performing acrobatics all day, making it hard for me to breathe! He's all up in my rib cage, poking at my sides... It actually hurts... I think he's trying to break out!! Hopefully he's as excited to meet me, as I am to meet him!
Uggggh, I'm just so uncomfortable right now... No matter what I do, I can't seem to feel good. I'm peeing almost every hour and I really just want to go to sleep, but I don't even feel that tired... Every time I lie down, I start feeling heartburn. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night... Hopefully, I will get some sleep.
I'm so happy that the end is near...
Monday, August 8, 2011
Keepin busy!
We're getting so close to the big day, that my mind is just constantly racing... I feel like there is so much to do and so many things to remember! We took a baby care / breastfeeding and infant CPR class a few weeks ago and I keep reviewing my notes from the classes, as well as the many handouts they gave us. I feel like I'm studying for a big exam, but don't know when it's going to take place!
On top of that, I recently joined this group of mom's in my new neighborhood. It's called HRP (Hudson River Park) Mamas and it's for mom's in the Battery Park, FiDi and Tribeca areas of the city (basically all of lower Manhattan). I've joined their message boards and am cc'ed on the gazillions of emails that mom's are constantly sending with questions about everything from baby nurse recommendations and theories on CIO (crying it out/sleep training) to play date gatherings and even classifieds.
The classifieds are actually awesome!! I was able to find a mom in Battery Park who was selling her $1000+ glider for $50! It's in amazing condition and matches our nursery perfectly.... It's also super comfortable (I'm sitting in it right now!) I'm so glad that I didn't buy a brand new one!! We picked it up this weekend and I couldn't be happier with it! (And upon pickup I spent no less than two hours vacumming it, spot cleaning it, dusting it and then febreezing the hell out of it... I'm not one for used items, but this was a deal that couldn't be passed up!)
This weekend we also set up most of the nursery. My mom drove in most of our gifts and we did lots of loads of baby laundry, assembled the stroller and got the car seat out of the box. The nursery is looking pretty cute. We have all of the furniture now accept the crib, which should come next week. We don't have any pics on the walls yet, or anything like that... but I'm not going to worry about that stuff until Brady arrives. I just wanted to make sure I had all the bare essentials in place if he decides to come a week or two early! I got the diapers, the wipes, some nursing bras/tanks, packed my hospital bag, etc...
Oh, and funny story about the stroller... So, it arrived via Fedex on Friday (thanks mom!). We decided to wait to put it together until Sat or Sun. But at about 10pm on Fri night, I don't think hubby could contain his excitement (he LOVES the stroller) so we decided to put it together (I napped from 6 - 8, so I was feeling good!). Actually, hubby was putting it together, I just sat there for moral support. He actually followed the instruction manual, which was kind of odd for him... He usually just uses his intuition, but given that this is our son's chariot, he decided to stick to the rule book. He did a great job until we got to the sun canopy for the bassinet part of the stroller... That's when things started to unravel. In his defense, he followed the instructions, which were poor... But when the canopy wouldn't work properly, he started to lose it... This thing is defective... we have to take it back... I can't believe such an expensive stroller would come with a piece that's broken... yada yada yada... I tried to keep him calm, but when frustration sets in, it's tough to keep him calm. I decided to walk away and consult my good friend, google... I had a feeling that this may be an assembly issue that others encountered as well... And I was right. The directions were missing a crucial piece of information that once we had, quickly rectified the situation and hubby was a happy camper once again! Once the stroller was assembled, he strolled it all around the apartment (and apparently he did the same thing the following morning before I woke up!) Very cute! Every day he pretty much takes it for a stroll around the apartment... he is so excited for it!! It's pretty adorable.
It was actually a miracle that we got the nursery set up on Saturday, because it did not start off as a good day... I woke up just not feeling well. Hubby advised me to take a kytril, but it had been a few weeks since I last got sick, so I didn't think it was necessary. I thought a bowl of cereal would make it all better... I was wrong... I promptly puked up the cereal... So, our new master bathroom sink (at least hubby's) has been officially christened! Post puke, I took the kytril. I really wanted to enjoy the day of setting up the nursery!
It's so weird... lately, I have had some really good days and then just some not so good days. I've been pretty tired and my sleep has been kinda crazy... I pretty much sleep a few hours, then am up (wide awake) for a few... And the peeing every 2-3 hours doesn't help things... I'm also pretty hungry and some nights I have to wake up 2-3 times to feed... I'm not only adjusting to the "baby schedule," I'm turning into the baby. I've also gotten more unwieldy... I'm so middle heavy, that I wobble (kind of like how baby's look when they're learning to walk - a bit drunk!). And once simple tasks are proving very challenging... like getting up from the couch and tying my shoes. Luckily, hubby helps with these things... I just find it frustrating not to be able to comfortably do them myself. And you're probably thinking... who needs to tie shoelaces in August? Hello, flip flops! Well... my feet are a wreck! I thought they hurt a few weeks ago, but that's NOTHING compared to right now... They throb! And NYC is such a walking city and I always prefer walking to public transport / cabs, so it's been quite a struggle for me... It's such a trade off... to keep cool, flip flops are the best... and I bought these nerdy Aerosoles ones that are actually much more comfortable than my others, but they still aren't as comfortable as sneakers... The problem with wearing sneakers is that I don't own shorts and you can't wear sneakers with dresses, so when I wear the sneaks, I have to wear jeans and it's just too darn hot to do that. Why don't I own shorts? Well, first of all, I don't think they're flattering on girls (unless you have long beautiful, slender, toned legs and wear them with high heels). Unfortunately, none of those adjectives describe my legs, which are short and stumpy... (And don't go getting all offended if you wear shorts... It's just my personal preference to wear skirts instead.) So, needless to say, I feel pretty immobile, which is pretty disappointing, because everyone in my life keeps telling me to get outside now, run my errands, stay active, etc... Once baby comes, things are going to be much harder, I will be more tired, etc... But with this heat and my stupid feet, I'm very conflicted.
Today I'm 37 weeks and 2 days preggers and at my doc appointment in a few days they will start checking me for dilation and effacement. At my last appt they gave me the Strep B test to see if I need to be treated with antibiotics when I go into labor. I can't believe that labor is near. I'm kinda scared about the pain, but trying not to think about it... Luckily for me, I have a mile long to-do list that's keeping me busy! This evening I am visiting with a pediatrician in the area to see if the practice is the right fit for me and Brady... I'm not really sure what to expect, but I definitely need to have someone on deck for that first newborn appointment once we bring him home... I have appts set up for some other pediatricians as well... Not really sure what to be looking for in a doc, but I guess I will figure it out. Assuming it's going to be one of those 'go with your gut' kinda things.
On top of that, I recently joined this group of mom's in my new neighborhood. It's called HRP (Hudson River Park) Mamas and it's for mom's in the Battery Park, FiDi and Tribeca areas of the city (basically all of lower Manhattan). I've joined their message boards and am cc'ed on the gazillions of emails that mom's are constantly sending with questions about everything from baby nurse recommendations and theories on CIO (crying it out/sleep training) to play date gatherings and even classifieds.
The classifieds are actually awesome!! I was able to find a mom in Battery Park who was selling her $1000+ glider for $50! It's in amazing condition and matches our nursery perfectly.... It's also super comfortable (I'm sitting in it right now!) I'm so glad that I didn't buy a brand new one!! We picked it up this weekend and I couldn't be happier with it! (And upon pickup I spent no less than two hours vacumming it, spot cleaning it, dusting it and then febreezing the hell out of it... I'm not one for used items, but this was a deal that couldn't be passed up!)
This weekend we also set up most of the nursery. My mom drove in most of our gifts and we did lots of loads of baby laundry, assembled the stroller and got the car seat out of the box. The nursery is looking pretty cute. We have all of the furniture now accept the crib, which should come next week. We don't have any pics on the walls yet, or anything like that... but I'm not going to worry about that stuff until Brady arrives. I just wanted to make sure I had all the bare essentials in place if he decides to come a week or two early! I got the diapers, the wipes, some nursing bras/tanks, packed my hospital bag, etc...
Oh, and funny story about the stroller... So, it arrived via Fedex on Friday (thanks mom!). We decided to wait to put it together until Sat or Sun. But at about 10pm on Fri night, I don't think hubby could contain his excitement (he LOVES the stroller) so we decided to put it together (I napped from 6 - 8, so I was feeling good!). Actually, hubby was putting it together, I just sat there for moral support. He actually followed the instruction manual, which was kind of odd for him... He usually just uses his intuition, but given that this is our son's chariot, he decided to stick to the rule book. He did a great job until we got to the sun canopy for the bassinet part of the stroller... That's when things started to unravel. In his defense, he followed the instructions, which were poor... But when the canopy wouldn't work properly, he started to lose it... This thing is defective... we have to take it back... I can't believe such an expensive stroller would come with a piece that's broken... yada yada yada... I tried to keep him calm, but when frustration sets in, it's tough to keep him calm. I decided to walk away and consult my good friend, google... I had a feeling that this may be an assembly issue that others encountered as well... And I was right. The directions were missing a crucial piece of information that once we had, quickly rectified the situation and hubby was a happy camper once again! Once the stroller was assembled, he strolled it all around the apartment (and apparently he did the same thing the following morning before I woke up!) Very cute! Every day he pretty much takes it for a stroll around the apartment... he is so excited for it!! It's pretty adorable.
It was actually a miracle that we got the nursery set up on Saturday, because it did not start off as a good day... I woke up just not feeling well. Hubby advised me to take a kytril, but it had been a few weeks since I last got sick, so I didn't think it was necessary. I thought a bowl of cereal would make it all better... I was wrong... I promptly puked up the cereal... So, our new master bathroom sink (at least hubby's) has been officially christened! Post puke, I took the kytril. I really wanted to enjoy the day of setting up the nursery!
It's so weird... lately, I have had some really good days and then just some not so good days. I've been pretty tired and my sleep has been kinda crazy... I pretty much sleep a few hours, then am up (wide awake) for a few... And the peeing every 2-3 hours doesn't help things... I'm also pretty hungry and some nights I have to wake up 2-3 times to feed... I'm not only adjusting to the "baby schedule," I'm turning into the baby. I've also gotten more unwieldy... I'm so middle heavy, that I wobble (kind of like how baby's look when they're learning to walk - a bit drunk!). And once simple tasks are proving very challenging... like getting up from the couch and tying my shoes. Luckily, hubby helps with these things... I just find it frustrating not to be able to comfortably do them myself. And you're probably thinking... who needs to tie shoelaces in August? Hello, flip flops! Well... my feet are a wreck! I thought they hurt a few weeks ago, but that's NOTHING compared to right now... They throb! And NYC is such a walking city and I always prefer walking to public transport / cabs, so it's been quite a struggle for me... It's such a trade off... to keep cool, flip flops are the best... and I bought these nerdy Aerosoles ones that are actually much more comfortable than my others, but they still aren't as comfortable as sneakers... The problem with wearing sneakers is that I don't own shorts and you can't wear sneakers with dresses, so when I wear the sneaks, I have to wear jeans and it's just too darn hot to do that. Why don't I own shorts? Well, first of all, I don't think they're flattering on girls (unless you have long beautiful, slender, toned legs and wear them with high heels). Unfortunately, none of those adjectives describe my legs, which are short and stumpy... (And don't go getting all offended if you wear shorts... It's just my personal preference to wear skirts instead.) So, needless to say, I feel pretty immobile, which is pretty disappointing, because everyone in my life keeps telling me to get outside now, run my errands, stay active, etc... Once baby comes, things are going to be much harder, I will be more tired, etc... But with this heat and my stupid feet, I'm very conflicted.
Today I'm 37 weeks and 2 days preggers and at my doc appointment in a few days they will start checking me for dilation and effacement. At my last appt they gave me the Strep B test to see if I need to be treated with antibiotics when I go into labor. I can't believe that labor is near. I'm kinda scared about the pain, but trying not to think about it... Luckily for me, I have a mile long to-do list that's keeping me busy! This evening I am visiting with a pediatrician in the area to see if the practice is the right fit for me and Brady... I'm not really sure what to expect, but I definitely need to have someone on deck for that first newborn appointment once we bring him home... I have appts set up for some other pediatricians as well... Not really sure what to be looking for in a doc, but I guess I will figure it out. Assuming it's going to be one of those 'go with your gut' kinda things.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I'm back!
First off, I need to apologize for the "thin" communication. Things have gotten so busy that blogging took a backseat and then it turned into one of those things where I felt like I've fallen so far behind with my updates that I would never catch you all up on everything. But tonight, I decided it was time to face you... I thought about making excuses... I have pregnancy induced carpal tunnel, which makes typing much less fun and easy... but honestly, that would be a lie... While my little sausage fingers are swollen and sore (and I can't wear my rings anymore :(), I can still type (will find out when I see the doc this week if it's really carpal tunnel or not!).
I am now 36.5 weeks pregnant, which means I am super close to the end! I can't believe he's almost here. On Saturday, I will be considered "full term," which means that if little Brady were to be born, he wouldn't even be considered pre-term or early. If you ask me, it's super confusing why they call you full term at 37 weeks when pregnancy is supposedly 40 weeks... but oh well... Besides being quite large, I am feeling pretty good. Haven't puked in weeks... I have the typical 9th month swelling and back pain, but otherwise things are ok... I'm not sleeping that well, but I think that's to be expected given my size and everything going on in my life right now!
This past weekend, we moved. We are all settled into our new apartment! My mother-in-law was kind enough to be my partner in crime during the move since hubby had to work. We just hung out while the movers packed and for the most part, everything went smoothly! And after we got all of the boxes and furniture inside the apartment, my brother and his girlfriend came over to help us do the deed of unpacking. By Sunday, we had gotten rid of all of the boxes and the apartment was pretty much finished, besides the shopping I need to do for decorative items, etc... I love the new place. It's pretty awesome. Much bigger than the old place, a ton more storage space and it feels really homey to me. The only slight hitch is that they ripped up the carpet on our floor (in the hallway) because they are replacing it, but that means that every time you walk into our apartment you track in all types of dust... It drives me a bit insane because we have black wood plank floors so you can see all of the dirt. And since I'm nesting, I can't seem to get things clean enough... but my back has been killing me, so the constant vacuuming is painful. But I have been assured by the building that they will be laying down the carpet soon! I also really like the 'hood... much more than I thought I would. There are tons of restaurants right around the corner and it has a very Euro feel (and it's not just all of the tourists gawking at the NYSE). It's the cobblestone streets, narrow walkways, architecture and the history... We're living in old NY.
Anyways, back to the apartment. This weekend we are setting up the nursery. I can't wait! My mom will be driving in all of the gifts we received at the shower (I left everything in NJ because of the move). I already started washing some of Brady's clothes (with his special baby detergent) and I'm just getting so excited to bring him home. I know that life will never be the same once he is born and that I should be enjoying my last couple of weeks of independence... going to movies, out to eat, seeing friends, etc... But, it's hard to contain my excitement. I really like spending time in the new place and just cleaning, organizing and getting things ready for my new life as a mommy! All of his furniture has been delivered accept for the crib, which should be here in about two weeks. I'm not too concerned because those first few nights he is going to sleep in a bassinet anyway. He will be so tiny, I feel like he would get lost in a crib! The furniture is awesome... I love it! Was a good choice. Despite the cribgate fiasco, we ended up with furniture we love. Our stroller is also on the way... Once that arrives, we will have just about everything we need! I can't believe it.
I am now 36.5 weeks pregnant, which means I am super close to the end! I can't believe he's almost here. On Saturday, I will be considered "full term," which means that if little Brady were to be born, he wouldn't even be considered pre-term or early. If you ask me, it's super confusing why they call you full term at 37 weeks when pregnancy is supposedly 40 weeks... but oh well... Besides being quite large, I am feeling pretty good. Haven't puked in weeks... I have the typical 9th month swelling and back pain, but otherwise things are ok... I'm not sleeping that well, but I think that's to be expected given my size and everything going on in my life right now!
This past weekend, we moved. We are all settled into our new apartment! My mother-in-law was kind enough to be my partner in crime during the move since hubby had to work. We just hung out while the movers packed and for the most part, everything went smoothly! And after we got all of the boxes and furniture inside the apartment, my brother and his girlfriend came over to help us do the deed of unpacking. By Sunday, we had gotten rid of all of the boxes and the apartment was pretty much finished, besides the shopping I need to do for decorative items, etc... I love the new place. It's pretty awesome. Much bigger than the old place, a ton more storage space and it feels really homey to me. The only slight hitch is that they ripped up the carpet on our floor (in the hallway) because they are replacing it, but that means that every time you walk into our apartment you track in all types of dust... It drives me a bit insane because we have black wood plank floors so you can see all of the dirt. And since I'm nesting, I can't seem to get things clean enough... but my back has been killing me, so the constant vacuuming is painful. But I have been assured by the building that they will be laying down the carpet soon! I also really like the 'hood... much more than I thought I would. There are tons of restaurants right around the corner and it has a very Euro feel (and it's not just all of the tourists gawking at the NYSE). It's the cobblestone streets, narrow walkways, architecture and the history... We're living in old NY.
Anyways, back to the apartment. This weekend we are setting up the nursery. I can't wait! My mom will be driving in all of the gifts we received at the shower (I left everything in NJ because of the move). I already started washing some of Brady's clothes (with his special baby detergent) and I'm just getting so excited to bring him home. I know that life will never be the same once he is born and that I should be enjoying my last couple of weeks of independence... going to movies, out to eat, seeing friends, etc... But, it's hard to contain my excitement. I really like spending time in the new place and just cleaning, organizing and getting things ready for my new life as a mommy! All of his furniture has been delivered accept for the crib, which should be here in about two weeks. I'm not too concerned because those first few nights he is going to sleep in a bassinet anyway. He will be so tiny, I feel like he would get lost in a crib! The furniture is awesome... I love it! Was a good choice. Despite the cribgate fiasco, we ended up with furniture we love. Our stroller is also on the way... Once that arrives, we will have just about everything we need! I can't believe it.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Our lucky little guy
It's been a busy few weeks, which is why I haven't been posting nearly as often as I'd like. I will catch you up on what's been going on and try to keep it brief...
First off, hubby quit his job. So, the awful commuting to Connecticut is now over! YAY! He starts his new job on July 25, so we've spent the last week or so getting ready for baby and for the move downtown. There have been many trips to The Container Store, West Elm, CB2, Buy Buy Baby, Bed Bath and Beyond, Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel, Home Depot, Benjamin Moore, etc... you get the drift. We're trying to get things purchased and/or ordered so that we can get the apartment setup quick, just in case little Brady decides to make an early appearance. Also, since our movers are also going to be packing us up, we wanted to make sure that we weren't taking lots of crap with us (since usually we do our purging during the packing process). We've spent the last week going through every nook and cranny of our apartment, deciding what should move on to the new apartment, what should go into storage (i.e. our parents houses in NJ) and what is just garbage... Me, my label maker and my nesting instinct have been a bit of an animal about this whole situation... Our apartment is more organized and neat then it ever was, which is kind of disappointing since we vacate in a week! I just wanted things to be organized so that when the movers come in, it will be easy for them to group things together and I can just focus on hovering and labeling boxes. Since hubby will be in his first week of work, his mom will be coming into the city to assist me in the hovering and labeling process...
We also decided to paint the new apartment... something we've never done before. Living in NYC and moving every few years, it just never seemed worth the expense to paint. But since we're in our 30s and with child, we felt it was time to create a home. Lucky for me, hubby has been an active participant in this process, because picking paint colors is HARD! We've gone to the paint store a million times, bringing swatches of our bedding and furniture to try and find just the right colors... It's just so hard to look at those little chips and imagine a room of that color. We finally decided on three colors, kangaroo for the living room (beige-ish), azores for the baby room (blue green) and shale for the master bedroom (a mushroomy color). We got the paint delivered and hired our buildings maintenance man to actually do the painting. (When I said, "we decided to paint," I hope you didn't think that meant us... we don't know how to do that stuff!) Apparently, the apartment has been painted, but because the heat index in NYC is over 110 degrees and the air quality is supposedly horrific, I'm not able to go downtown to check it out, which is killing me... I'm dying to know what the colors look like on the wall, with our apartments lighting, etc...
Because of this extreme heat, I'm forced to do the rest of my apartment shopping online... which is ok, but not nearly as fun as seeing things up close and personal, in-store... I've literally spent the past two days just ordering things from everywhere under the sun so that things arrive exactly in line with our move-in date! I've also been doing the change of address stuff and trying to figure out what I still need for the baby.
This past weekend, my mom hosted my shower. It was awesome! Really really nice. 40 of our friends and family joined us at a restaurant in NJ. My friend, A, was very involved in the planning process and did an amazing job helping with the party decor and games. There was an adorable clothesline filled with babywear, a stork in each table centerpiece, a little tree where guests were asked to write their well wishes for me, hubby and Brady, a fabulous diaper cake and fortune cookie favors. It was truly fabulous!
It was so nice to see everyone... Since becoming pregnant, I really haven't seen anyone, so it was nice to have so many family and friends gathered in one place. It was a bit overwhelming, but I was completely floored by the generosity of everyone in the room. We got such a tremendous amount of gifts for little Brady. Toys, clothes, necessities... It was SO SO SO nice and I am so grateful to be bringing our little boy into such a warm and welcoming group of people. He's a lucky little guy!!
More catchup in the next post!
First off, hubby quit his job. So, the awful commuting to Connecticut is now over! YAY! He starts his new job on July 25, so we've spent the last week or so getting ready for baby and for the move downtown. There have been many trips to The Container Store, West Elm, CB2, Buy Buy Baby, Bed Bath and Beyond, Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel, Home Depot, Benjamin Moore, etc... you get the drift. We're trying to get things purchased and/or ordered so that we can get the apartment setup quick, just in case little Brady decides to make an early appearance. Also, since our movers are also going to be packing us up, we wanted to make sure that we weren't taking lots of crap with us (since usually we do our purging during the packing process). We've spent the last week going through every nook and cranny of our apartment, deciding what should move on to the new apartment, what should go into storage (i.e. our parents houses in NJ) and what is just garbage... Me, my label maker and my nesting instinct have been a bit of an animal about this whole situation... Our apartment is more organized and neat then it ever was, which is kind of disappointing since we vacate in a week! I just wanted things to be organized so that when the movers come in, it will be easy for them to group things together and I can just focus on hovering and labeling boxes. Since hubby will be in his first week of work, his mom will be coming into the city to assist me in the hovering and labeling process...
We also decided to paint the new apartment... something we've never done before. Living in NYC and moving every few years, it just never seemed worth the expense to paint. But since we're in our 30s and with child, we felt it was time to create a home. Lucky for me, hubby has been an active participant in this process, because picking paint colors is HARD! We've gone to the paint store a million times, bringing swatches of our bedding and furniture to try and find just the right colors... It's just so hard to look at those little chips and imagine a room of that color. We finally decided on three colors, kangaroo for the living room (beige-ish), azores for the baby room (blue green) and shale for the master bedroom (a mushroomy color). We got the paint delivered and hired our buildings maintenance man to actually do the painting. (When I said, "we decided to paint," I hope you didn't think that meant us... we don't know how to do that stuff!) Apparently, the apartment has been painted, but because the heat index in NYC is over 110 degrees and the air quality is supposedly horrific, I'm not able to go downtown to check it out, which is killing me... I'm dying to know what the colors look like on the wall, with our apartments lighting, etc...
Because of this extreme heat, I'm forced to do the rest of my apartment shopping online... which is ok, but not nearly as fun as seeing things up close and personal, in-store... I've literally spent the past two days just ordering things from everywhere under the sun so that things arrive exactly in line with our move-in date! I've also been doing the change of address stuff and trying to figure out what I still need for the baby.
This past weekend, my mom hosted my shower. It was awesome! Really really nice. 40 of our friends and family joined us at a restaurant in NJ. My friend, A, was very involved in the planning process and did an amazing job helping with the party decor and games. There was an adorable clothesline filled with babywear, a stork in each table centerpiece, a little tree where guests were asked to write their well wishes for me, hubby and Brady, a fabulous diaper cake and fortune cookie favors. It was truly fabulous!
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| Clothesline with Little Clothes |
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| Centerpieces with Blue Stork |
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| Wishing Well Tree |
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| Diaper Cake |
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| Fortune Cookie Favors |
More catchup in the next post!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Last Weekend: H-Fest
Every year, our friend G hosts a big party for all of our friends at his parents house down at the Jersey Shore (the beautiful part of the shore, where there are gorgeous houses and pristine manicured lawns... not the shore you see on TV). Called H-Fest, we all usually spend the entire weekend reverting back to our old college ways of pigging out, binge drinking, beer pong, etc... Every year there are t-shirts made to commemorate the event and friends come in from all over the eastern seaboard to celebrate.
We woke up on Friday morning to pack and get going (our friends C&L were kind enough to give us a ride from the city... I did NOT want to take the train). When I woke up, I nibbled on a chocolate croissant and immediately ran to the bathroom to throw it up... My two week run of no puking was over... Awesome way to start the weekend.
Since I returned breakfast number 1, we hopped in a cab to meet C&L for brunch before hitting the road to NJ. The car ride to NJ was pretty quick and luckily our friend S had to pee 1/2 way there so we stopped at a rest stop on the way... I didn't even need to ask! I did ask them to turn the air up in the car... way up... so I think I froze everyone out... (I noticed goose bumps and cardigans on all...) But nobody said a word... they were very sympathetic to my ridiculously high body temperature.
When we arrived at G's parents house, we all just hung out and helped them get ready for the main event which takes place on Saturday. Because the weather wasn't very good (crazy rain!) we just hung out and did rainy day activities... It was like camp... Mrs H (G's mom) was a teacher and she had lots of construction paper, colored pencils, etc... So I spent the afternoon drawing pictures like a 15 year old while everyone else moved tables and did manual labor! We ended up going for dinner at a nearby place and I was designated driver.
The next day it was a beautiful day to go to the beach... so what did everyone do? They went to the beach... What did I do? I stayed home with G's parents... I love the beach, but the thought of being out in the sun when I am already so hot all the time just wasn't appealing to me... Also, the bathroom situation leaves much to be desired and so does the bathing suit situation...
It made me think... it can be kinda lonely being the only pregnant gal sometimes... Who would have ever thought that being a party of two, you could feel so alone!
I just can't do all the things I used to do and the last thing I ever want to do is hold others back. The crew was only gone for a few hours so I hung out on the shaded porch and read. Once everyone came back to G's parents, the kegs arrived and the party was on. Most of the afternoon is usually spent in the backyard... bocce, beer pong, etc... Unfortunately for me, it was super hot out and every time I would go outside, I would need to go back inside for at least an hour or two to sufficiently cool down (thank freaking god for air conditioning). So I didn't really hang out with everyone. I spent most of the day in the kitchen with Mrs. H, helping with food prep, etc... And then, once the party was in full swing... all the other pregos and babies started arriving! Finally, I had people to play with!!!! I heard stories about babies starting to walk at 9 months, other babies born 9 pounds a month early, etc... It was nice to have some peeps who would sit in the air conditioning with me and talk baby, commiserate about pregnancy, etc... It was a far cry from previous H-Fests, but fun nonetheless...
While most of our crew stayed up partying until 3 or 4am, I crashed at about 10 and didn't even feel bad about it... It used to reallllly bother me if I ever missed out on all the late night fun when the silly drunken antics typically take place, but it's gotten easier... and frankly, I'm so tired lately that I just don't care! So while this year's H-Fest was definitely a different experience for me. I had a great time!
On Sunday morning I was the first one to rise and asked everyone for a full report on what I missed. We had our typical jersey shore breakfast... Taylor ham, egg and cheese and then were on our way back into the city!
We woke up on Friday morning to pack and get going (our friends C&L were kind enough to give us a ride from the city... I did NOT want to take the train). When I woke up, I nibbled on a chocolate croissant and immediately ran to the bathroom to throw it up... My two week run of no puking was over... Awesome way to start the weekend.
Since I returned breakfast number 1, we hopped in a cab to meet C&L for brunch before hitting the road to NJ. The car ride to NJ was pretty quick and luckily our friend S had to pee 1/2 way there so we stopped at a rest stop on the way... I didn't even need to ask! I did ask them to turn the air up in the car... way up... so I think I froze everyone out... (I noticed goose bumps and cardigans on all...) But nobody said a word... they were very sympathetic to my ridiculously high body temperature.
When we arrived at G's parents house, we all just hung out and helped them get ready for the main event which takes place on Saturday. Because the weather wasn't very good (crazy rain!) we just hung out and did rainy day activities... It was like camp... Mrs H (G's mom) was a teacher and she had lots of construction paper, colored pencils, etc... So I spent the afternoon drawing pictures like a 15 year old while everyone else moved tables and did manual labor! We ended up going for dinner at a nearby place and I was designated driver.
The next day it was a beautiful day to go to the beach... so what did everyone do? They went to the beach... What did I do? I stayed home with G's parents... I love the beach, but the thought of being out in the sun when I am already so hot all the time just wasn't appealing to me... Also, the bathroom situation leaves much to be desired and so does the bathing suit situation...
It made me think... it can be kinda lonely being the only pregnant gal sometimes... Who would have ever thought that being a party of two, you could feel so alone!
I just can't do all the things I used to do and the last thing I ever want to do is hold others back. The crew was only gone for a few hours so I hung out on the shaded porch and read. Once everyone came back to G's parents, the kegs arrived and the party was on. Most of the afternoon is usually spent in the backyard... bocce, beer pong, etc... Unfortunately for me, it was super hot out and every time I would go outside, I would need to go back inside for at least an hour or two to sufficiently cool down (thank freaking god for air conditioning). So I didn't really hang out with everyone. I spent most of the day in the kitchen with Mrs. H, helping with food prep, etc... And then, once the party was in full swing... all the other pregos and babies started arriving! Finally, I had people to play with!!!! I heard stories about babies starting to walk at 9 months, other babies born 9 pounds a month early, etc... It was nice to have some peeps who would sit in the air conditioning with me and talk baby, commiserate about pregnancy, etc... It was a far cry from previous H-Fests, but fun nonetheless...
While most of our crew stayed up partying until 3 or 4am, I crashed at about 10 and didn't even feel bad about it... It used to reallllly bother me if I ever missed out on all the late night fun when the silly drunken antics typically take place, but it's gotten easier... and frankly, I'm so tired lately that I just don't care! So while this year's H-Fest was definitely a different experience for me. I had a great time!
On Sunday morning I was the first one to rise and asked everyone for a full report on what I missed. We had our typical jersey shore breakfast... Taylor ham, egg and cheese and then were on our way back into the city!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Takin' the dog for a walk
Since it has been so hellishly hot in NYC, I really haven't been leaving the house during the day. I've tried a few times and it's just so damn hot out that it's painful... I get tired, feel really fatigued and I start to swell up.
The only time the temperature is reasonable enough for a walk is about 8 or 9pm once the sun has gone down... It's still toasty but at least doable. So, every night, my husband takes me for a walk. We live right near the Hudson river, so we take a nice leisurely stroll... It's me and hubby walking along the water with half of the upper west side and their dogs...
We can't walk for too long because my "dogs start barking" (and sometimes they howl)... I have never experienced foot pain like I am experiencing now... Walking is so painful that every night hubby asks, how far do you want to walk and my reply is, how long do you want to rub my feet? When I get home I always elevate my feet and do everything I can to ease the discomfort and swelling, but nothing seems to work.
Between the heat and my feet, I'm beginning to feel a bit like a prisoner... Baby jail.
The only time the temperature is reasonable enough for a walk is about 8 or 9pm once the sun has gone down... It's still toasty but at least doable. So, every night, my husband takes me for a walk. We live right near the Hudson river, so we take a nice leisurely stroll... It's me and hubby walking along the water with half of the upper west side and their dogs...
We can't walk for too long because my "dogs start barking" (and sometimes they howl)... I have never experienced foot pain like I am experiencing now... Walking is so painful that every night hubby asks, how far do you want to walk and my reply is, how long do you want to rub my feet? When I get home I always elevate my feet and do everything I can to ease the discomfort and swelling, but nothing seems to work.
Between the heat and my feet, I'm beginning to feel a bit like a prisoner... Baby jail.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Nesting or Crazy?
I've been getting emails from pregnancy websites about the "nesting" phase of pregnancy, which I guess I'm in right now... Granted, we're planning a move, not just the setup of a nursery, but I've been particularly motivated to "homemake" these days. I have been going through all of our closets, drawers and such and just purging and organizing. Given the pain that results from bending over, I can't do that much at a time, but I try to do at least an hour or two every day and I'm making headway.
Hubby is thrilled... he and I have very different "styles" when it comes to our approach to cleaning / clutter management.. I like piles... having a couple of neat piles doesn't bother me one bit if they're organized. It drives him nuts. While I like neat, who doesn't? I'm not as motivated to achieve neat as he is... We've lived together for almost 10 years and this is still something we debate often... I will freely admit that I'm messier than hubby and he is a far superior cleaner than I am. What I will also admit, is that there is a method to my madness... I may be messy, but I'm organized! He's moderately organized, but doesn't hold a candle to me. The problem with our apartment right now is that we have tons of stuff, but everything is "stuffed" away in random places (NYC living... you store things where there's room) and we don't know where to find things! My goal in preparation for this move is to get everything organized... All of the tools in one place, electronics / cords in another place, office supplies all together, etc... Right now, things are just stuffed in various places, wherever they would fit... Well, I'm not having it anymore... When we move into our new place, I want to be able to find things... The other problem that both of us have is that we forget... I thought we bought tylenol... where is it? Medicine cabinet? Medicine drawer? Medicine pouch we have for travel? It usually takes a couple of looks before we find things... Or, one of us will say, I need new gloves... We buy them and then 2 months later discover a treasure trove of gloves that we forgot we had. Well, no more... Our new apartment has a ton of storage space, we're outfitting our closets with some handy dandy container store drawers and cabinets AND I'm adopting the strategy that has kept me so organized in business and bringing it home.
I ordered a label maker!
Have you ever used one of these things before? They're AMAZING little devices that help you identify things at a glance. These little labels will allow me to put an organization system in place and then adhere to it, by plainly saying on the outside of each little box what it contains. It's perfect. I am so excited for my best buy purchase to arrive!! I've already started a list of all of the labels I need to print out.
Hubby is thrilled... he and I have very different "styles" when it comes to our approach to cleaning / clutter management.. I like piles... having a couple of neat piles doesn't bother me one bit if they're organized. It drives him nuts. While I like neat, who doesn't? I'm not as motivated to achieve neat as he is... We've lived together for almost 10 years and this is still something we debate often... I will freely admit that I'm messier than hubby and he is a far superior cleaner than I am. What I will also admit, is that there is a method to my madness... I may be messy, but I'm organized! He's moderately organized, but doesn't hold a candle to me. The problem with our apartment right now is that we have tons of stuff, but everything is "stuffed" away in random places (NYC living... you store things where there's room) and we don't know where to find things! My goal in preparation for this move is to get everything organized... All of the tools in one place, electronics / cords in another place, office supplies all together, etc... Right now, things are just stuffed in various places, wherever they would fit... Well, I'm not having it anymore... When we move into our new place, I want to be able to find things... The other problem that both of us have is that we forget... I thought we bought tylenol... where is it? Medicine cabinet? Medicine drawer? Medicine pouch we have for travel? It usually takes a couple of looks before we find things... Or, one of us will say, I need new gloves... We buy them and then 2 months later discover a treasure trove of gloves that we forgot we had. Well, no more... Our new apartment has a ton of storage space, we're outfitting our closets with some handy dandy container store drawers and cabinets AND I'm adopting the strategy that has kept me so organized in business and bringing it home.
I ordered a label maker!
Have you ever used one of these things before? They're AMAZING little devices that help you identify things at a glance. These little labels will allow me to put an organization system in place and then adhere to it, by plainly saying on the outside of each little box what it contains. It's perfect. I am so excited for my best buy purchase to arrive!! I've already started a list of all of the labels I need to print out.
When you gotta go, you gotta go
One more story from San Diego... Hubby and I are in the bathroom together at my Aunt's house. I'm getting ready to get in the shower and he's going to pee. (I tell this story assuming other couples spend alot of time in the bathroom together like we do... but maybe it's a product of living in NYC and only having one bathroom?? regardless, at this point, it doesn't matter where we are... we go into the bathroom together - no boundaries!) I'm pulling out the towel, assessing the toiletry situation in the shower (making sure there's shampoo, conditioner and soap) while hubby begins to pee.
Like a whirlwind, the bathroom door slides open and my cousin's five year old is pants down, holding his junk, screaming I gotta go potty! I gotta go potty! Hubby turns to me, not sure what to do... he's midstream at this point... And I say, step to the side, let him in. I figure they can cross swords... Hubby is actually able to stop mid-stream and step away in time to not get peed on... The five year old begins peeing immediately and I'm impressed by his good aim... Well done, little guy!
It's amazing how quickly the whole thing happens... Hubby and I are both looking at each other... Don't forget, we just woke up... This is a shocking experience first thing in the morning... Then the 5 year old pulls up his Star Wars pj pants and runs out with the same reckless abandon he had when he ran in. Hubby and I burst out laughing... To watch this tiny little person kick my big hubby off the toilet, while he was using it, was priceless... And hubby and I thought we had no boundaries! It was a funny glance into our future with little Brady...
But I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go... As a pregnant lady who pees at least 2-3 times a night, I do understand this...
Like a whirlwind, the bathroom door slides open and my cousin's five year old is pants down, holding his junk, screaming I gotta go potty! I gotta go potty! Hubby turns to me, not sure what to do... he's midstream at this point... And I say, step to the side, let him in. I figure they can cross swords... Hubby is actually able to stop mid-stream and step away in time to not get peed on... The five year old begins peeing immediately and I'm impressed by his good aim... Well done, little guy!
It's amazing how quickly the whole thing happens... Hubby and I are both looking at each other... Don't forget, we just woke up... This is a shocking experience first thing in the morning... Then the 5 year old pulls up his Star Wars pj pants and runs out with the same reckless abandon he had when he ran in. Hubby and I burst out laughing... To watch this tiny little person kick my big hubby off the toilet, while he was using it, was priceless... And hubby and I thought we had no boundaries! It was a funny glance into our future with little Brady...
But I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go... As a pregnant lady who pees at least 2-3 times a night, I do understand this...
Time to Get Literal
When I was in San Diego a few weeks ago I was trying to explain to my cousin's five year old that I am having a baby and what that meant - he was going to have a new cousin soon! I don't have much experience talking to little people, but thought I could handle this... Here's how the conversation went.
ME: I'm having a baby. There's a little baby in my tummy. He's smaller than your other baby cousin's and that's why he is still in his mommy's belly. He's growing and when he's ready, he will come out and play.
He loses interest and runs around with a light sabre for a few minutes while I wait.
5 YEAR OLD: When's he coming out?
ME: Well, he's still cooking.
5 YEAR OLD: Wait... you're COOKING THE BABY? eyes open wide... Why would you do that?
ME: Floundering to explain to a five year old that when I say cooking, that I really mean the baby is growing and developing in his mommy's tummy... He looks at me, completely flabbergasted that I would cook my own child and goes back to playing with his light sabre.
And I learn my first lesson in talking to little people...
ME: I'm having a baby. There's a little baby in my tummy. He's smaller than your other baby cousin's and that's why he is still in his mommy's belly. He's growing and when he's ready, he will come out and play.
He loses interest and runs around with a light sabre for a few minutes while I wait.
5 YEAR OLD: When's he coming out?
ME: Well, he's still cooking.
5 YEAR OLD: Wait... you're COOKING THE BABY? eyes open wide... Why would you do that?
ME: Floundering to explain to a five year old that when I say cooking, that I really mean the baby is growing and developing in his mommy's tummy... He looks at me, completely flabbergasted that I would cook my own child and goes back to playing with his light sabre.
And I learn my first lesson in talking to little people...
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Everything grinds my gears...
The past couple of days I've been pretty irritable... Not that I'm a patient person... I'm not... but I've been particularly annoyed lately... It could be my discomfort (ohhhh, my aching back), lack of sleep, etc... But certain situations are "grinding my gears" (as Peter Griffin would say) more than normal.
Like, yesterday... hubby tells me he wants to go to see fireworks...It's the 4th, they're on the Hudson river, a block from where we live and he wants to see them. Despite that many nights I fall asleep before 9pm, I think, ok no problem... I've been pretty lame overall, not up for doing much... so I figure I can make sure I get to fireworks if that's what hubby wants... I had to make some phone calls so I went into the bedroom so I wouldn't interrupt hubby's tv time with my yabbering and he tells me to be ready at 9pm. I get ready by 9pm and am just waiting for him to come get me in the bedroom... All of a sudden, I notice it's 9:10... Where is hubby? I get off the phone and go into the living room... What is he doing? Playing video games... He's in the middle of a soccer game... I say, aren't we going to see fireworks? They start in 10 minutes! He says, when I'm done with my game... So, I get my tired, pregnant ass up and dressed so he can see fireworks and he tells me to wait for him to finish his game... Normally that would be a mild irritation, but yesterday I wanted to clobber him... How dare he make me wait so he could finish a video game that he could EASILY pause and resume when we got back. I was sacrificing my precious sleep time to go with him to see the fireworks that HE WANTED TO SEE... I frankly, couldn't have cared less about seeing them... He could not understand why I was so mad... It was seriously like we were on different planets! I really don't think that men understand the extreme exhaustion of pregnancy and while maybe it seemed like nothing to him to make me wait... he was wasting my precious relaxation time... and for what??? A VIDEO GAME!! Yes, I'm married to a 15 year old.
And then today... I did something that I have never done in my entire career. I responded to an email in all caps to express my severe irritation to a completely unaccommodating vendor and then proceeded to vent on the phone to a colleague that I wanted to "pop a cap in his (the vendor's) ass," for being so difficult. I don't think I've ever even said these words before... But, my fuse is short... and frankly, I don't give a damn....
Like, yesterday... hubby tells me he wants to go to see fireworks...It's the 4th, they're on the Hudson river, a block from where we live and he wants to see them. Despite that many nights I fall asleep before 9pm, I think, ok no problem... I've been pretty lame overall, not up for doing much... so I figure I can make sure I get to fireworks if that's what hubby wants... I had to make some phone calls so I went into the bedroom so I wouldn't interrupt hubby's tv time with my yabbering and he tells me to be ready at 9pm. I get ready by 9pm and am just waiting for him to come get me in the bedroom... All of a sudden, I notice it's 9:10... Where is hubby? I get off the phone and go into the living room... What is he doing? Playing video games... He's in the middle of a soccer game... I say, aren't we going to see fireworks? They start in 10 minutes! He says, when I'm done with my game... So, I get my tired, pregnant ass up and dressed so he can see fireworks and he tells me to wait for him to finish his game... Normally that would be a mild irritation, but yesterday I wanted to clobber him... How dare he make me wait so he could finish a video game that he could EASILY pause and resume when we got back. I was sacrificing my precious sleep time to go with him to see the fireworks that HE WANTED TO SEE... I frankly, couldn't have cared less about seeing them... He could not understand why I was so mad... It was seriously like we were on different planets! I really don't think that men understand the extreme exhaustion of pregnancy and while maybe it seemed like nothing to him to make me wait... he was wasting my precious relaxation time... and for what??? A VIDEO GAME!! Yes, I'm married to a 15 year old.
And then today... I did something that I have never done in my entire career. I responded to an email in all caps to express my severe irritation to a completely unaccommodating vendor and then proceeded to vent on the phone to a colleague that I wanted to "pop a cap in his (the vendor's) ass," for being so difficult. I don't think I've ever even said these words before... But, my fuse is short... and frankly, I don't give a damn....
Height (almost =) depth
I've been spending alot of time measuring furniture and various things, making renderings and floor plan layouts, etc... in preparation for our move. Today, I decided to do a little self-charting.
The belly is getting ridiculous... I'm short.... only 5ft and I measured my belly and right now from my back to the tip of my belly is about 1ft. That's not normal! My depth is 20% of my height. While pre-pregnancy, I was a very shallow curio (for plates and small knick knacks), I am now a deep bookshelf (and we're not talking soft cover books)!
The belly is getting ridiculous... I'm short.... only 5ft and I measured my belly and right now from my back to the tip of my belly is about 1ft. That's not normal! My depth is 20% of my height. While pre-pregnancy, I was a very shallow curio (for plates and small knick knacks), I am now a deep bookshelf (and we're not talking soft cover books)!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Heavy and tired
Honestly, I have never been so sleepy in my life. I am so completely and utterly exhausted all the time and the unfortunate thing is that I can't sleep for longer than 5 hours at a clip.
For the past two weeks I feel like I've put on a significant amount of belly weight (though according to the doctors scale my total weight gain has still only been 18 lbs, completely on track) and I've also also just become so tired that I can't even handle it. In my first trimester I was definitely tired and took naps when I could (which was an odd phenomenon for me... I'm not a napper). But that was nothing like the exhaustion I am feeling these days.
Last night I fell asleep at 7:30pm. Slept until 9 or so, woke up, went back to sleep at 11, slept until 4, got up and ate some Cocoa Puffs, fell back asleep by 6 or so, then slept until about 9 or 10. And literally, every night lately has been like that... (with many bathroom breaks throughout the night and tosses and turns to wake up sleepy limbs)...
Today, we went for some brunch, ran some errands - Pottery Barn, Bed, Bath and Beyond... you know, the usual stops for a couple who is planning a move in the near future. By about 3 pm I was bushed! We came home, made a late lunch and I fell asleep shortly thereafter for a few hours. Woke up at about 6 or 7, had some cocoa puffs, relaxed a bit more not really able to get up and now, here I am at 10:25pm starving... My plan is to eat some mac n cheese and go to bed... But this schedule is taxing... I'm not used to feeling so lethargic... I would imagine the extreme summer heat doesn't help much.
I've been SO THIRSTY too... I can't drink enough water, which means that I literally pee constantly... But, I'm very paranoid about dehydration, so it's worth the bathroom trips.
I've also started getting some headaches, which aren't fun at all, but they are easily treatable with tylenol. I read that they also become more common in the 3rd trimester... sweet!
And finally, I'm sore... the extra weight that I'm putting on is really tough to carry... My feet are killing me and my shoulders and lower back are sore. I'm trying to do everything the books say... take notice of my posture, etc... but nothing really helps... It's just very hard to get comfortabe.
As moving day and Brady's arrival near, I'm getting a bit concerned that my lack of energy is going to be a huge challenge... How am I supposed to get everything done when I only have very few good hours where I am alert and awake every day? I'm also still working, though not as much... But it's just tough to juggle everything...
I've also started thinking about (and reading about) labor... I'm still definitely terrified, but as time goes on, I just want this baby out (of course, not before he's ready)! It's a little less daunting when I think about how I will actually get my body back, not have to carry this weight and will hopefully have a normal appetite again! Pregnancy has taken such a physical and emotional toll...
One of my really good friends had a little girl this week and she shared with me some of the intimate details of the labor process... I can't believe how long it can take... She pushed for almost 3 hours!!! I don't even know if I would have the stamina to do that... Maybe knowing that there is some Lamb Vindaloo and Chicken Tikka Masala on the other side would help (haven't been able to have my beloved Indian food in 7 months!)... Oh, and finally meeting Brady...
Hubby and I talk about it all the time... What's he going to be like? We really can't wait until he's here... Of course, we have the normal concerns, is he going to be healthy, etc...? But then we're also wondering, who is he going to be like? Look like? etc... It still shocks me sometimes that I'm going to be a mommy and hubby will be a daddy... Like, the way I call my mom all the time and ask her how to do things, he will do that with me... That's wild! I was joking earlier today, that he would call me and ask me what to do, and I would tell him I would call him back, call my mom and then fill him in!
For the past two weeks I feel like I've put on a significant amount of belly weight (though according to the doctors scale my total weight gain has still only been 18 lbs, completely on track) and I've also also just become so tired that I can't even handle it. In my first trimester I was definitely tired and took naps when I could (which was an odd phenomenon for me... I'm not a napper). But that was nothing like the exhaustion I am feeling these days.
Last night I fell asleep at 7:30pm. Slept until 9 or so, woke up, went back to sleep at 11, slept until 4, got up and ate some Cocoa Puffs, fell back asleep by 6 or so, then slept until about 9 or 10. And literally, every night lately has been like that... (with many bathroom breaks throughout the night and tosses and turns to wake up sleepy limbs)...
Today, we went for some brunch, ran some errands - Pottery Barn, Bed, Bath and Beyond... you know, the usual stops for a couple who is planning a move in the near future. By about 3 pm I was bushed! We came home, made a late lunch and I fell asleep shortly thereafter for a few hours. Woke up at about 6 or 7, had some cocoa puffs, relaxed a bit more not really able to get up and now, here I am at 10:25pm starving... My plan is to eat some mac n cheese and go to bed... But this schedule is taxing... I'm not used to feeling so lethargic... I would imagine the extreme summer heat doesn't help much.
I've been SO THIRSTY too... I can't drink enough water, which means that I literally pee constantly... But, I'm very paranoid about dehydration, so it's worth the bathroom trips.
I've also started getting some headaches, which aren't fun at all, but they are easily treatable with tylenol. I read that they also become more common in the 3rd trimester... sweet!
And finally, I'm sore... the extra weight that I'm putting on is really tough to carry... My feet are killing me and my shoulders and lower back are sore. I'm trying to do everything the books say... take notice of my posture, etc... but nothing really helps... It's just very hard to get comfortabe.
As moving day and Brady's arrival near, I'm getting a bit concerned that my lack of energy is going to be a huge challenge... How am I supposed to get everything done when I only have very few good hours where I am alert and awake every day? I'm also still working, though not as much... But it's just tough to juggle everything...
I've also started thinking about (and reading about) labor... I'm still definitely terrified, but as time goes on, I just want this baby out (of course, not before he's ready)! It's a little less daunting when I think about how I will actually get my body back, not have to carry this weight and will hopefully have a normal appetite again! Pregnancy has taken such a physical and emotional toll...
One of my really good friends had a little girl this week and she shared with me some of the intimate details of the labor process... I can't believe how long it can take... She pushed for almost 3 hours!!! I don't even know if I would have the stamina to do that... Maybe knowing that there is some Lamb Vindaloo and Chicken Tikka Masala on the other side would help (haven't been able to have my beloved Indian food in 7 months!)... Oh, and finally meeting Brady...
Hubby and I talk about it all the time... What's he going to be like? We really can't wait until he's here... Of course, we have the normal concerns, is he going to be healthy, etc...? But then we're also wondering, who is he going to be like? Look like? etc... It still shocks me sometimes that I'm going to be a mommy and hubby will be a daddy... Like, the way I call my mom all the time and ask her how to do things, he will do that with me... That's wild! I was joking earlier today, that he would call me and ask me what to do, and I would tell him I would call him back, call my mom and then fill him in!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Lockdown: Day 3
Since last Thursday or so I've been sick... Started off as the sore throat and now it's just congestion... Cough, stuffy nose, headache, ears hurt, etc... Yesterday I decided to call the doc because I thought that maybe I needed antibiotics. I spoke with the doctor's assistant and she recommended I spend two days on Robitussin DM, Afrin and Tylenol. If those don't work, then I can come in on Thursday and she will prescribe me something. Because I am trying to get better, I've been staying home... haven't left the apartment since Sunday. It's been amazing to me how busy I've been during these three days... Between work, planning the move and prepping for baby, I've had my plate full!
Despite not feeling very well, I've accomplished quite a bit work-wise and personally... I selected our new cable / phone / internet provider - Verizon Fios here we come. I called Time Warner and RCN for quotes as well, but I've heard great things about Fios AND they also had the best prices... No brainer. I was also able to select a moving company... This was a tough choice and one I didn't take lightly. Given that I am going to be 8 months pregnant during this move, and my husband will be at work while it's taking place, it was important to me to hire a moving company that I felt confident in. I had three movers come and meet with me to do in-home evaluations and provide me with guaranteed pricing. I met with Flat Rate, Moishes and Oz. After extensive negotiations, research and endless questions from me (one of the movers asked if I was a lawyer) I decided to go with Oz. They have an A+ rating from the better business bureau and guaranteed me a reasonable price that included packing up everything. I liked the guy that I met with and he's been very conscientious about follow-up, something I appreciate, since I am also in a client service business. I've also been able to take care of some of my forwarding address stuff and do some research when it comes to all of the stuff we need to buy - which paints are low VOC and healthier for me and the baby? what type of vacuum should we buy? (keeping a clean floor will be more important than ever, with a little explorer crawling around), I want a new camera, do I go SLR or just advanced point and shoot? I've also built to-scale floor plans of our apartment in excel and mapped out where each piece of furniture will go and now I'm moving on to the kitchen to determine where we will store our food, plates, glassware, etc...drawer by drawer... I know I'm a little bit crazy, but this stuff is keeping me busy and helps me feel in control since I'm not really going to be of much physical help during the move. Hubby and I have also worked together to pick out paint colors... So far, we have selected colors for the baby's room (Azores by Benjamin Moore) and our bedroom (Shale by Benjamin Moore) and we just need to work on the living room. I've never painted anywhere I've lived before, and selecting colors is a big commitment (at least two whole years given that that's the length of our lease ;) )
I've also tried to relax a little bit, but that's not easy for me... Though, of course, the moment I lied down to just watch TV yesterday I felt something warm drip from my chin to my chest... I look down and see blood all over my shirt and chest... My immediate reaction is... what the f*** is happening? Then I remember that nosebleeds are a common occurrence during pregnancy (especially if you're sick)... I run to the bathroom and check out my bloody nose and chest and start doing some clean up. I've never had a bloody nose before so I run to to the computer to google it and find out what to do. Then I hear the phone ring... I can't get it, because I have bloody tissues in one hand and am holding my nose to stop the bleeding with the other.. And then, hubby comes home... relief... He see's what looks like a crime scene... bloody tissues in the toilet, blood stained shirt on the bathroom floor... I'm a total mess... But just having him home makes me feel better...
Oy, this pregnancy has been quite a trip... I hate to complain about it (though, I really don't mind) because I am lucky enough to be pregnant. The baby seems unfazed by everything going on in my life... he's just happy to be doing somersaults in my belly! He is still moving quite a bit and he's definitely getting bigger... My stomach is growing from cute belly to a whopper of a tummy. According to all of the sites and books, he should be weighing in at about 3+ pounds by now and measuring at about 16-17"... that's pretty big! A little more than 8 weeks left and he will be here!!
Despite not feeling very well, I've accomplished quite a bit work-wise and personally... I selected our new cable / phone / internet provider - Verizon Fios here we come. I called Time Warner and RCN for quotes as well, but I've heard great things about Fios AND they also had the best prices... No brainer. I was also able to select a moving company... This was a tough choice and one I didn't take lightly. Given that I am going to be 8 months pregnant during this move, and my husband will be at work while it's taking place, it was important to me to hire a moving company that I felt confident in. I had three movers come and meet with me to do in-home evaluations and provide me with guaranteed pricing. I met with Flat Rate, Moishes and Oz. After extensive negotiations, research and endless questions from me (one of the movers asked if I was a lawyer) I decided to go with Oz. They have an A+ rating from the better business bureau and guaranteed me a reasonable price that included packing up everything. I liked the guy that I met with and he's been very conscientious about follow-up, something I appreciate, since I am also in a client service business. I've also been able to take care of some of my forwarding address stuff and do some research when it comes to all of the stuff we need to buy - which paints are low VOC and healthier for me and the baby? what type of vacuum should we buy? (keeping a clean floor will be more important than ever, with a little explorer crawling around), I want a new camera, do I go SLR or just advanced point and shoot? I've also built to-scale floor plans of our apartment in excel and mapped out where each piece of furniture will go and now I'm moving on to the kitchen to determine where we will store our food, plates, glassware, etc...drawer by drawer... I know I'm a little bit crazy, but this stuff is keeping me busy and helps me feel in control since I'm not really going to be of much physical help during the move. Hubby and I have also worked together to pick out paint colors... So far, we have selected colors for the baby's room (Azores by Benjamin Moore) and our bedroom (Shale by Benjamin Moore) and we just need to work on the living room. I've never painted anywhere I've lived before, and selecting colors is a big commitment (at least two whole years given that that's the length of our lease ;) )
I've also tried to relax a little bit, but that's not easy for me... Though, of course, the moment I lied down to just watch TV yesterday I felt something warm drip from my chin to my chest... I look down and see blood all over my shirt and chest... My immediate reaction is... what the f*** is happening? Then I remember that nosebleeds are a common occurrence during pregnancy (especially if you're sick)... I run to the bathroom and check out my bloody nose and chest and start doing some clean up. I've never had a bloody nose before so I run to to the computer to google it and find out what to do. Then I hear the phone ring... I can't get it, because I have bloody tissues in one hand and am holding my nose to stop the bleeding with the other.. And then, hubby comes home... relief... He see's what looks like a crime scene... bloody tissues in the toilet, blood stained shirt on the bathroom floor... I'm a total mess... But just having him home makes me feel better...
Oy, this pregnancy has been quite a trip... I hate to complain about it (though, I really don't mind) because I am lucky enough to be pregnant. The baby seems unfazed by everything going on in my life... he's just happy to be doing somersaults in my belly! He is still moving quite a bit and he's definitely getting bigger... My stomach is growing from cute belly to a whopper of a tummy. According to all of the sites and books, he should be weighing in at about 3+ pounds by now and measuring at about 16-17"... that's pretty big! A little more than 8 weeks left and he will be here!!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Technology Woes
As if things couldn't get more complicated, this morning I woke up with a sore throat.... Not only that ... then I puked. So, I'm now 7 months pregnant and still puking in the mornings.... I had Lucky Charms at 4am, so I don't know why I woke up and puked... AND I had a 1/2 hamburger last night at like 9pm. I don't know what else to do! I'm trying my best to keep my tummy full, but nothing is working. I'm still getting sick!
Then, I head off to work. I put a bottle of water in my bag and begin my walk. I'm in Whole Foods picking up my chocolate croissant and feel something dripping on me... It's my bag... the cap on the water was crooked and all of the water leaked out and into my bag... I figure there's nothing I can do until I get to work, so I try to checkout at Whole Foods and my credit cards won't work because they're wet. I end up giving the clerk a soggy $20 and trek on to the subway. I get to work and pull out my iPhone to discover it wont let me make calls... it doesn't work... It's soaked. Next I take out my beloved Macbook Pro... it won't work either. AWESOME! No phone, no computer.. It's gonna be a productive work day. I start pulling everything out of my bag and laying it out to dry. My computer charger is soaked, everything is just destroyed... I start freaking out. What do I do without a phone and a computer? One of our interns suggests I go and buy rice and sit my iPhone in it to absorb the moisture... I've heard that that works... I run out and buy rice... put my computer charger in one bowl of rice, my iPhone in the other... I wait... I wait... I wait... After fiddling... the computer and charger seem to be ok... Unfortunately, that doesn't hold true for my iPhone... the phone function doesn't work and it's completely dark. I wanted to get a new iPhone anyway and switch from ATT to Verizon, but still... not like this... And since my contract isn't up, I'm going to get dinged for fees... Ayiyi...
And being without a phone, SUCKS! I am so reliant on it... Luckily I was able to back it up on my computer one last time, so i didn't lose anything....
Then, I head off to work. I put a bottle of water in my bag and begin my walk. I'm in Whole Foods picking up my chocolate croissant and feel something dripping on me... It's my bag... the cap on the water was crooked and all of the water leaked out and into my bag... I figure there's nothing I can do until I get to work, so I try to checkout at Whole Foods and my credit cards won't work because they're wet. I end up giving the clerk a soggy $20 and trek on to the subway. I get to work and pull out my iPhone to discover it wont let me make calls... it doesn't work... It's soaked. Next I take out my beloved Macbook Pro... it won't work either. AWESOME! No phone, no computer.. It's gonna be a productive work day. I start pulling everything out of my bag and laying it out to dry. My computer charger is soaked, everything is just destroyed... I start freaking out. What do I do without a phone and a computer? One of our interns suggests I go and buy rice and sit my iPhone in it to absorb the moisture... I've heard that that works... I run out and buy rice... put my computer charger in one bowl of rice, my iPhone in the other... I wait... I wait... I wait... After fiddling... the computer and charger seem to be ok... Unfortunately, that doesn't hold true for my iPhone... the phone function doesn't work and it's completely dark. I wanted to get a new iPhone anyway and switch from ATT to Verizon, but still... not like this... And since my contract isn't up, I'm going to get dinged for fees... Ayiyi...
And being without a phone, SUCKS! I am so reliant on it... Luckily I was able to back it up on my computer one last time, so i didn't lose anything....
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Stressing
The funeral was sad. It was graveside and my uncle Larry was the only one in the family who could gather himself enough to speak. He recalled anecdotes that we had all shared with him... Like the time me and some of the cousins stole Aunt L's hairnet and the ruckus it caused. And also the time when Aunt L was visiting us in NYC and we took her to a comedy club. The comedian on stage loved her at first sight and started asking her questions... Like if she had ever given anyone the finger... He asked her to give him the finger and she starts playfully wagging her pointer finger in that, you were a naughty little boy, way. The crowd erupted in laughter. And she made such an impact that five years later, when we all visited the same comedy club, the comedian remembered her!! The funeral had lots of laughs but also a ton of tears. My husband was one of the pallbearers... Watching him carry that tiny casket with all of my cousins was truly sad and then we each took a turn shoveling dirt over her grave. I couldn't lift the shovel so hubby helped me.
After the funeral we all went back to Aunt B's house and I think people who came to the house were a bit shocked... They may have expected a somber house filled with people crying, but it wasn't... The music was on, the sangria was flowing and the mood was celebratory. She was a great woman, who led a great life and her dying wish was that we not mourn her. So while some family members had a harder time with that then others, it was truly what she would have wanted.
The next day we prepared to fly home... Just hubby and I stayed at Aunt L's condo the night of the funeral... The apartment had nothing in it besides her personal belongings/furniture (no food, etc...) so as soon as we woke up we headed back to Aunt B's. Unfortunately, as soon as we got into the car, that familiar feeling came back and I puked for the first time in weeks. It sucked, but since I hadn't eaten since our early dinner post-funeral, I was running on empty... Despite that I woke up in the middle of the night and ate a Luna bar, I still puked. Once we got to Aunt B's I ate two mini bagels and a yogurt and felt a bit better... Wasn't a great way to start the day we were flying home...
The flight was fine thanks to some pizza hut before we boarded... Hubby was diligent about waking me up every hour so that I could walk the plane (doctors orders to prevent blood clots) and I made sure to drink lots of water and eat the many JetBlue snacks they hand out. Even though we landed at 9pm and didn't arrive home until 10, I made myself a pasta dinner when I got home. I didn't want to puke again the next morning because I didn't eat enough.
Then yesterday morning reality set in... Holy crap, I am behind... with life, work, etc... Unfortunately, the world doesn't stop when you decide to take a few days to be with family. I had a doc appt where she told me all looked good... I gained 2 more lbs, right on track, and she wanted to make sure I was still taking the iron pills she recommended for the mild anemia I was now suffering from. I spent all day yesterday trying to do everything... Schedule my move, get caught up with work, my social life, etc...
Oh, and did I say, schedule my move... because in NYC that is no easy fete... Coordinating elevator reservations with two buildings, dealing with moving a few days before our lease starts and the costs involved, etc... Today I met with two moving companies and learned that I'm planning a move on the most expensive day of the year. Awesome. Oh, and did I tell you that I ate a banana today and then puked it up? That was awesome... I'm stressed... really, super duper stressed. And I'm trying to eat something, but I'm not hungry... I HATE eating these days.. It's such a chore, nothing tastes good... And I have to leave for work in 8 minutes for a meeting... deep breaths, deep breaths...
After the funeral we all went back to Aunt B's house and I think people who came to the house were a bit shocked... They may have expected a somber house filled with people crying, but it wasn't... The music was on, the sangria was flowing and the mood was celebratory. She was a great woman, who led a great life and her dying wish was that we not mourn her. So while some family members had a harder time with that then others, it was truly what she would have wanted.
The next day we prepared to fly home... Just hubby and I stayed at Aunt L's condo the night of the funeral... The apartment had nothing in it besides her personal belongings/furniture (no food, etc...) so as soon as we woke up we headed back to Aunt B's. Unfortunately, as soon as we got into the car, that familiar feeling came back and I puked for the first time in weeks. It sucked, but since I hadn't eaten since our early dinner post-funeral, I was running on empty... Despite that I woke up in the middle of the night and ate a Luna bar, I still puked. Once we got to Aunt B's I ate two mini bagels and a yogurt and felt a bit better... Wasn't a great way to start the day we were flying home...
The flight was fine thanks to some pizza hut before we boarded... Hubby was diligent about waking me up every hour so that I could walk the plane (doctors orders to prevent blood clots) and I made sure to drink lots of water and eat the many JetBlue snacks they hand out. Even though we landed at 9pm and didn't arrive home until 10, I made myself a pasta dinner when I got home. I didn't want to puke again the next morning because I didn't eat enough.
Then yesterday morning reality set in... Holy crap, I am behind... with life, work, etc... Unfortunately, the world doesn't stop when you decide to take a few days to be with family. I had a doc appt where she told me all looked good... I gained 2 more lbs, right on track, and she wanted to make sure I was still taking the iron pills she recommended for the mild anemia I was now suffering from. I spent all day yesterday trying to do everything... Schedule my move, get caught up with work, my social life, etc...
Oh, and did I say, schedule my move... because in NYC that is no easy fete... Coordinating elevator reservations with two buildings, dealing with moving a few days before our lease starts and the costs involved, etc... Today I met with two moving companies and learned that I'm planning a move on the most expensive day of the year. Awesome. Oh, and did I tell you that I ate a banana today and then puked it up? That was awesome... I'm stressed... really, super duper stressed. And I'm trying to eat something, but I'm not hungry... I HATE eating these days.. It's such a chore, nothing tastes good... And I have to leave for work in 8 minutes for a meeting... deep breaths, deep breaths...
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Celebration of a wonderful lady
My flight to California was pretty uneventful. I followed doctor's orders and walked around the plane just about every hour and drank TONS of water. The traveling was much easier than I expected it to be. Hubby and I had a row all to ourselves and were stationed right near the bathroom, which was necessary given my water consumption. Also, because we were on Jet Blue we had TV to watch the whole time, which made the flight go much faster.
When we arrived we went straight to my Aunt B's house to see my great Aunt L who was really not doing well. She was experiencing moments of lucidity, but they were becoming few and far between. Her breathing was becoming more labored but her pulse was still pretty strong. When we arrived, we were quickly ushered down to my cousin's room where she was spending her final days. Hospice was there giving all of my Aunt's and my mom some additional instructions on caring for Aunt L. It was a bit shocking to see her. Aunt L, the matriarch of our family, was always a feisty fireball of a woman, all 4'9" of her, but here she was, lying in a hospital bed, no makeup (despite the fact that she kept asking for lipstick, even in her final days) and largely helpless. She never wanted to be a burden on ANYONE, and we all knew that she would hate the way her last few days were transpiring. I was told by my cousin's and uncle who are doctors that she knew I was in the room and it was the time to say goodbye. She may be around for a few more days, but her lucidity would become less frequent. My brother joined me in the room and we just sat there staring at her and crying... I knew it was going to be one of my last opportunities to talk to her, but I was just speechless. I literally had no idea what to say besides "I love you Aunt L." She was the only grandmother I ever had... Despite that she wasn't my real, blood grandmother, she was the only one I ever knew. My mom's parents unfortunately both died by the time she was 5 years old. So, she and her sister moved in with their mother's sister, Aunt L, and her husband and two girls (Aunt B and Aunt J). It's really sad for me when I reflect on the fact that my mom missed out on having a mother of her own and now, her mother figure from age 5 onward was quickly deteriorating in front of our eyes.
After about 20 minutes or so in the room with Aunt L, we left and joined the rest of the family. In all, there were 26 of us all at Aunt B's house. As soon as Aunt L took a turn for the worse, we all hopped on planes from assorted cities around the country to be there to honor dear L. She would have been thrilled that we were all together and I think she knew. We're very fortunate that three of my family members are in medicine... two doctors and one surgeon... so we had around the clock care for Aunt L in the home, administering the necessary drugs to ease her pain. One of my uncles is even a social worker and he deals with people in their last days all the time, so it was also nice to have someone around who could fill us in on how the final days could transpire and provide us with some insight from personal experience as to the signs of when a person is truly going to pass on.
The next two days were a little bit surreal... We couldn't all just sit around her bed all day and since we aren't all together that often, we tried to keep busy and enjoy being together... Some of us handled meal planning (cooking / preparing meals for 26 is a job in and of itself, necessitating multiple trips to Costco with lots of cars) while others rotated tending to L. It's so wonderful that Aunt B has a house that can easily accommodate our family of 26. It's literally a house built for entertaining (including everything from a movie theater room and firepit to a swimming pool and pool table). And while we were all sleeping at assorted houses/hotels, we all used Aunt B's as a home base since that was where Aunt L was spending her final days.
Watching the different personalities in my family deal with the grief of losing our matriarch was really interesting. Some of the family couldn't tend to her, do the diaper changes, washings, etc... They contributed to the effort by doing grocery shopping and providing activities for the many cousins. While others, had a hard time leaving the house... That included my mom. She's a complete nurturer and spent a ton of time with Aunt L in her final days and hours. Aunt L acted as her mother from age five on. They were extremely close... just as close as mother and daughter. They spoke daily and I think my mom was incredibly grateful for the wonderful home Aunt L gave her after the tragedy of losing her parents at such a young age.
I can't lie and say that the past couple days were completely miserable. While difficult, in the spirit of Aunt L's life and wishes that we not mourn for her, the family really took advantage of the time together to enjoy one and other. Some of the men went on a boat ride (one of my uncles has one his boats docked in San Diego), while others would go on hikes in the nearby mountains. The women in the family took frequent shopping trips to get out of the house and we all also did what Jewish families are known for... We ate. And we ate and ate and ate and ate. We cooked in the house, family friends sent trays and platters over and we even went to one restaurant that we completely took over. While the reason we all got together was incredibly sad, we all really did our best to spend quality time together and bond. One night we all huddled around the firepit on my aunt and uncle's wrap around balcony and just all told jokes... we really needed the laugh!
This week made me incredibly grateful for my wonderful family. Despite being a hoard of 26 and living all over the country, we're incredibly close. I'm really excited that little Brady is going to be born into such a big, tight knit family with so many cousins, Aunts and Uncles that he's not going to be able to keep them straight! It's also been really nice for me that hubby is such an integral part of the family. I mean, he has been around everyone for 14 years, but he just really fits in with our brood. We're loud, in each others business and our dynamic is COMPLETELY different than his own family, yet he easily gels with everyone. Of course he was there supporting me, but he was also hugging my uncles as they shed tears when their mother-in-law passed, and did whatever he could to help Aunt B, our host, with whatever she needed. Aunt L really loved my hubby and that means alot to me.
Hubby spent alot of time also contributing funny/charming Aunt L stories to our conversations this week... Like, when he went off to college, she sent him there with a tin full of her famous peanut butter blossom cookies so he could make friends. And apparently it worked, he did meet one of his really good friends early on and they enjoyed peanut butter blossoms together! After that, she sent him tins of cookies so he could maintain his friendships! Hubby also recalled a story about when Aunt L was visiting with us in NJ and the phone rang... She went to answer it and couldn't figure out why nobody was responding on the other end... We had to tell her that she was answering the remote control! The stories could go on (and I'm sure they will in future posts)...
Yesterday she passed. I'm staying at Aunt B's and have been waking up early. I went to sit with Aunt L at 7am... The whole idea was for her to never be alone... We wanted someone to be there as she took her last breath. I just sat there counting the seconds between her breaths and thinking about all of our wonderful times together. While it was hard to see her like this, I was really happy to be there. Throughout the day her breaths became further apart. We all rotated spending time in the room, some went on hikes, or out for lunch, etc... I went with Aunt B to walk her dogs in the neighborhood... She had Brownie and I had Alfie. We didn't make it very far when Brownie darts behind a bush and grabs a bunny rabbit, shaking him violently. We got Brownie to drop the bunny, but unfortunately, the bunny was dying. Brownie had NEVER done this before. Aunt B and I ran home and sent one of the men to retrieve the bunny, who was dead upon arrival. We took this occurrence as a bit of an omen... Today was going to be the day. Afterwards, I joined some of the guys and we went to an authentic mexican spot for lunch. When we got back to Aunt B's we all just kinda hung out... I wasn't feeling that great, so I took a nap at around 3pm. I woke up at about a quarter to five and was upstairs with hubby having some water, when I thought I heard a family member say something I wasn't sure I was ready to hear. I run down the stairs and learn that she just passed and took her last breath. My mom, Aunt L's daughters and all of the husband's were in the room when it happened. We all gathered around her bed and cried, said a prayer and then sprung into action... Calling the funeral home, hospice, the family members who were out running errands and the few extended family members who were not around.
The mood in the house changed a bit... it turned pretty quiet, but didn't stay that way for long. Once everyone was back at the house we all sat around telling stories and making dinner. We decided that instead of mourning, we would turn the evening into a celebration of her life. We turned the music up, busted out the cocktails (none for me) and all just reminisced and shared wonderful memories. When the funeral home came, we all gathered around her as they wrapped her up and took her out of the house. At 92 years old, Aunt L led a wonderful life. She was driving up until this past May... She was with "it" and active her whole life and that demanded a celebration. We bbq'd and just spent quality time together... everyone pitched in.
We will all be together today and tomorrow to continue the celebration of her life and mourn her death at the funeral. I think today we plan to bust out the home movies and sit around the home theater and just remember the good times we all had together. It's definitely what she would have wanted!
When we arrived we went straight to my Aunt B's house to see my great Aunt L who was really not doing well. She was experiencing moments of lucidity, but they were becoming few and far between. Her breathing was becoming more labored but her pulse was still pretty strong. When we arrived, we were quickly ushered down to my cousin's room where she was spending her final days. Hospice was there giving all of my Aunt's and my mom some additional instructions on caring for Aunt L. It was a bit shocking to see her. Aunt L, the matriarch of our family, was always a feisty fireball of a woman, all 4'9" of her, but here she was, lying in a hospital bed, no makeup (despite the fact that she kept asking for lipstick, even in her final days) and largely helpless. She never wanted to be a burden on ANYONE, and we all knew that she would hate the way her last few days were transpiring. I was told by my cousin's and uncle who are doctors that she knew I was in the room and it was the time to say goodbye. She may be around for a few more days, but her lucidity would become less frequent. My brother joined me in the room and we just sat there staring at her and crying... I knew it was going to be one of my last opportunities to talk to her, but I was just speechless. I literally had no idea what to say besides "I love you Aunt L." She was the only grandmother I ever had... Despite that she wasn't my real, blood grandmother, she was the only one I ever knew. My mom's parents unfortunately both died by the time she was 5 years old. So, she and her sister moved in with their mother's sister, Aunt L, and her husband and two girls (Aunt B and Aunt J). It's really sad for me when I reflect on the fact that my mom missed out on having a mother of her own and now, her mother figure from age 5 onward was quickly deteriorating in front of our eyes.
After about 20 minutes or so in the room with Aunt L, we left and joined the rest of the family. In all, there were 26 of us all at Aunt B's house. As soon as Aunt L took a turn for the worse, we all hopped on planes from assorted cities around the country to be there to honor dear L. She would have been thrilled that we were all together and I think she knew. We're very fortunate that three of my family members are in medicine... two doctors and one surgeon... so we had around the clock care for Aunt L in the home, administering the necessary drugs to ease her pain. One of my uncles is even a social worker and he deals with people in their last days all the time, so it was also nice to have someone around who could fill us in on how the final days could transpire and provide us with some insight from personal experience as to the signs of when a person is truly going to pass on.
The next two days were a little bit surreal... We couldn't all just sit around her bed all day and since we aren't all together that often, we tried to keep busy and enjoy being together... Some of us handled meal planning (cooking / preparing meals for 26 is a job in and of itself, necessitating multiple trips to Costco with lots of cars) while others rotated tending to L. It's so wonderful that Aunt B has a house that can easily accommodate our family of 26. It's literally a house built for entertaining (including everything from a movie theater room and firepit to a swimming pool and pool table). And while we were all sleeping at assorted houses/hotels, we all used Aunt B's as a home base since that was where Aunt L was spending her final days.
Watching the different personalities in my family deal with the grief of losing our matriarch was really interesting. Some of the family couldn't tend to her, do the diaper changes, washings, etc... They contributed to the effort by doing grocery shopping and providing activities for the many cousins. While others, had a hard time leaving the house... That included my mom. She's a complete nurturer and spent a ton of time with Aunt L in her final days and hours. Aunt L acted as her mother from age five on. They were extremely close... just as close as mother and daughter. They spoke daily and I think my mom was incredibly grateful for the wonderful home Aunt L gave her after the tragedy of losing her parents at such a young age.
I can't lie and say that the past couple days were completely miserable. While difficult, in the spirit of Aunt L's life and wishes that we not mourn for her, the family really took advantage of the time together to enjoy one and other. Some of the men went on a boat ride (one of my uncles has one his boats docked in San Diego), while others would go on hikes in the nearby mountains. The women in the family took frequent shopping trips to get out of the house and we all also did what Jewish families are known for... We ate. And we ate and ate and ate and ate. We cooked in the house, family friends sent trays and platters over and we even went to one restaurant that we completely took over. While the reason we all got together was incredibly sad, we all really did our best to spend quality time together and bond. One night we all huddled around the firepit on my aunt and uncle's wrap around balcony and just all told jokes... we really needed the laugh!
This week made me incredibly grateful for my wonderful family. Despite being a hoard of 26 and living all over the country, we're incredibly close. I'm really excited that little Brady is going to be born into such a big, tight knit family with so many cousins, Aunts and Uncles that he's not going to be able to keep them straight! It's also been really nice for me that hubby is such an integral part of the family. I mean, he has been around everyone for 14 years, but he just really fits in with our brood. We're loud, in each others business and our dynamic is COMPLETELY different than his own family, yet he easily gels with everyone. Of course he was there supporting me, but he was also hugging my uncles as they shed tears when their mother-in-law passed, and did whatever he could to help Aunt B, our host, with whatever she needed. Aunt L really loved my hubby and that means alot to me.
Hubby spent alot of time also contributing funny/charming Aunt L stories to our conversations this week... Like, when he went off to college, she sent him there with a tin full of her famous peanut butter blossom cookies so he could make friends. And apparently it worked, he did meet one of his really good friends early on and they enjoyed peanut butter blossoms together! After that, she sent him tins of cookies so he could maintain his friendships! Hubby also recalled a story about when Aunt L was visiting with us in NJ and the phone rang... She went to answer it and couldn't figure out why nobody was responding on the other end... We had to tell her that she was answering the remote control! The stories could go on (and I'm sure they will in future posts)...
Yesterday she passed. I'm staying at Aunt B's and have been waking up early. I went to sit with Aunt L at 7am... The whole idea was for her to never be alone... We wanted someone to be there as she took her last breath. I just sat there counting the seconds between her breaths and thinking about all of our wonderful times together. While it was hard to see her like this, I was really happy to be there. Throughout the day her breaths became further apart. We all rotated spending time in the room, some went on hikes, or out for lunch, etc... I went with Aunt B to walk her dogs in the neighborhood... She had Brownie and I had Alfie. We didn't make it very far when Brownie darts behind a bush and grabs a bunny rabbit, shaking him violently. We got Brownie to drop the bunny, but unfortunately, the bunny was dying. Brownie had NEVER done this before. Aunt B and I ran home and sent one of the men to retrieve the bunny, who was dead upon arrival. We took this occurrence as a bit of an omen... Today was going to be the day. Afterwards, I joined some of the guys and we went to an authentic mexican spot for lunch. When we got back to Aunt B's we all just kinda hung out... I wasn't feeling that great, so I took a nap at around 3pm. I woke up at about a quarter to five and was upstairs with hubby having some water, when I thought I heard a family member say something I wasn't sure I was ready to hear. I run down the stairs and learn that she just passed and took her last breath. My mom, Aunt L's daughters and all of the husband's were in the room when it happened. We all gathered around her bed and cried, said a prayer and then sprung into action... Calling the funeral home, hospice, the family members who were out running errands and the few extended family members who were not around.
The mood in the house changed a bit... it turned pretty quiet, but didn't stay that way for long. Once everyone was back at the house we all sat around telling stories and making dinner. We decided that instead of mourning, we would turn the evening into a celebration of her life. We turned the music up, busted out the cocktails (none for me) and all just reminisced and shared wonderful memories. When the funeral home came, we all gathered around her as they wrapped her up and took her out of the house. At 92 years old, Aunt L led a wonderful life. She was driving up until this past May... She was with "it" and active her whole life and that demanded a celebration. We bbq'd and just spent quality time together... everyone pitched in.
We will all be together today and tomorrow to continue the celebration of her life and mourn her death at the funeral. I think today we plan to bust out the home movies and sit around the home theater and just remember the good times we all had together. It's definitely what she would have wanted!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Rough week
I started another post and never finished it... It was all about my weekend and what I did... It was rather light and fluffy but today I'm not feeling light and fluffy so I don't have the energy to finish writing it. This has been a really really rough week. On Monday I took a pretty bad spill... I was crossing the street and my flip flop got caught on the perimeter of a sewer cover and I tripped and fell right in the middle of the street. Luckily all the traffic was stopped at a light, but my wallet flew from my hand, I landed on my right knee and caught myself with my palms and according to my colleague S my belly never touched the ground. She said I pulled some crazy maneuver where I rolled immediately onto my side / back... I guess it's those motherly instincts to protect the belly... It was a pretty humbling moment and while I knew it wasn't my fault, I felt absolutely terrible and was on the verge of tears the rest of the day. What if I had landed on my belly? Or got hit by a car? I would never forgive myself. I was freaking out the rest of the day, but Brady made it known he was quite alright with frequent kicks, etc... He really is an active boy. And lucky for me, I escaped the situation with nothing but a nasty bruise on my knee.
This week was also my last week going into one of my client's offices. I love this client... LOVE the people I work with and the brand is a DREAM! While I'll still be consulting from home for the next few weeks, I won't be going into the office anymore and that's really sad to me. My colleagues bought me lunch, planned a nice little party for me (complete with a clothesline filled with baby booties) and a cake. They also presented a powerpoint card set to the song "Push it," that included pics of me throughout my time there and words of advice from the team on parenthood! It was very sweet and I really appreciated it. I packed up my belongings / desk, which was really sad for me...
But nowhere near as sad as today. My dear dear Great Aunt, who is really the only grandma I have ever known (she raised my mom after all) is gravely ill and will likely not make it another few days. She is suffering from liver, pancreatic and lung cancer (which were all just diagnosed a mere few weeks ago). She lived a wonderful, long life, 92 years, and isn't suffering, but she has given up and wants to pass on. The turn in her condition happened very quickly and my whole family is gathering around her right now in San Diego. Everyone is either in-flight or getting ready to go and I was faced with the decision about whether to join them... At 29.5 weeks my doctor saw no reason to restrict my flying.. She just told me to drink alot of water and walk every hour on the plane to prevent blood clots. After much consideration, I decided I wanted to go and be with everyone. My family is very close knit and it just didn't feel right to not be there. I got on the phone with hubby, who I knew would never let me go alone, and made the arrangements. We fly out tomorrow to say goodbye to one of the greatest ladies I've ever known. I really hope she waits for us to get there before she passes on. I know that's selfish, but I really want the opportunity to say goodbye. Regardless, I'm happy to be going to a place where I will be surrounded by those that love her and will miss her like I will. I am a bit nervous to be flying and to be out of town... I've become really fussy in my pregnancy with regards to my sleeping arrangements, food, etc... But since hubby is coming, I know he will make sure I'm taken care of... And I will be surrounded by family... I know everyone will do their best to make me comfortable despite the circumstances. That's all I have to really say for now.
This week was also my last week going into one of my client's offices. I love this client... LOVE the people I work with and the brand is a DREAM! While I'll still be consulting from home for the next few weeks, I won't be going into the office anymore and that's really sad to me. My colleagues bought me lunch, planned a nice little party for me (complete with a clothesline filled with baby booties) and a cake. They also presented a powerpoint card set to the song "Push it," that included pics of me throughout my time there and words of advice from the team on parenthood! It was very sweet and I really appreciated it. I packed up my belongings / desk, which was really sad for me...
But nowhere near as sad as today. My dear dear Great Aunt, who is really the only grandma I have ever known (she raised my mom after all) is gravely ill and will likely not make it another few days. She is suffering from liver, pancreatic and lung cancer (which were all just diagnosed a mere few weeks ago). She lived a wonderful, long life, 92 years, and isn't suffering, but she has given up and wants to pass on. The turn in her condition happened very quickly and my whole family is gathering around her right now in San Diego. Everyone is either in-flight or getting ready to go and I was faced with the decision about whether to join them... At 29.5 weeks my doctor saw no reason to restrict my flying.. She just told me to drink alot of water and walk every hour on the plane to prevent blood clots. After much consideration, I decided I wanted to go and be with everyone. My family is very close knit and it just didn't feel right to not be there. I got on the phone with hubby, who I knew would never let me go alone, and made the arrangements. We fly out tomorrow to say goodbye to one of the greatest ladies I've ever known. I really hope she waits for us to get there before she passes on. I know that's selfish, but I really want the opportunity to say goodbye. Regardless, I'm happy to be going to a place where I will be surrounded by those that love her and will miss her like I will. I am a bit nervous to be flying and to be out of town... I've become really fussy in my pregnancy with regards to my sleeping arrangements, food, etc... But since hubby is coming, I know he will make sure I'm taken care of... And I will be surrounded by family... I know everyone will do their best to make me comfortable despite the circumstances. That's all I have to really say for now.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Wiggle Monster
My ability to sleep has gotten progressively worse... I sleep a few hours, then am up for an hour or two. The pattern usually kicks off at 9pm and goes straight until around 8, 9 or 10am. I typically go back and forth between the bed and the couch for a change of scenery... I guess this is preparing me for the constant feedings and having a newborn.... but I still have 11 weeks until baby is born and I want to enjoy them (if that's possible in this horrific NYC heat).
Something that's starting to worry me a bit is that this baby doesn't sleep very much. He is a wiggle monster! Constantly moving... It's like Cirque du Soleil in there accept I look like the freak. I was sitting with a colleague the other day and he could actually observe the bulges and movements happening in my belly through my dress.
Something that's starting to worry me a bit is that this baby doesn't sleep very much. He is a wiggle monster! Constantly moving... It's like Cirque du Soleil in there accept I look like the freak. I was sitting with a colleague the other day and he could actually observe the bulges and movements happening in my belly through my dress.
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