Sentenced to 9 months hard labor...: Getting Down to Brass Tacks...

Ten reasons why pregnancy isn't all fun and games:

Reason #1: The nonstop nausea and puking. I am currently 17+ weeks and still nauseous all the time. Technically, since I'm in my second trimester I "shouldn't be" sick anymore according to the doctors and the books... but guess what? I am... It's been 11 weeks of nonstop, unrelenting sickness. I've taken meds prescribed by my doc... Zofran for a few weeks until it stopped working... Now I'm on Kytril, which works most of the time, as long as I take it before I get out of bed... If not, the floodgates open.

Reason #2 : This former foodie now HATES eating. I have always LOVED food... It's been my hobby... I read Bon App and Food and Wine, am obsessed with all the food blogs, and love cooking and eating out all over NYC. The more exotic and spicy the food, the better... Indian has always been a favorite. Now that I'm pregnant, I cannot go near the kitchen... the smells make me hurl and my diet is reduced to kiddie food. A typical day of eating for me now includes: Luna Bar, English Muffin, PB&J sandwich, Yogurt, Banana, Apple Sauce, Red Wax Cow Wheel, Jello, Butter Noodles and a Glass of Chocolate Milk. And the worst part about it is that I truly despise feeling hungry... eating is like torture... I have to choke food down to stave away the hunger... What I wouldn't give to savor some tikka masala and a spicy vindaloo ... but even the thought of it at this point makes me gag.

Reason #3: I have nothing to wear. Being 5ft tall and moderately curvy I have always had a challenging time buying clothes. Getting pregnant has only magnified this issue... Finding maternity wear that fits me is a total bitch! I have hit up all the usual suspects for maternity clothes since I'm trying to keep things inexpensive - Gap, Old Navy, H&M, Target. (Who wants to spend alot of money on clothes I will wear for 6 months??) Finding tops has been ok; I've picked up a few maternity tops, and been able to pick up a few size small shirts at H&M (instead of XS, my normal size) and that's been working for me. But I have had to return all of the jeans I've purchased - either too long, too tight or the belly band hurts my bump! Thank god for maternity leggings... If not for the two pairs that I have, I would go naked, or at least bottomless. I cannot wait until it's warm enough and I can just wear dresses every day!

Reason #4: I feel like I have no life. Besides my husband, wonderful colleagues and my parents, my social interaction has been minimal... I am so worried about feeling nauseous and getting sick that I don't really make plans with people... Or, if I'm feeling ambitious and do make plans, 9 times out of 10 I cancel them. I literally have not done anything fun in so long... No sunday brunches followed by a girlie movie, no shopping days, no food / bar crawls... Nada.. And on top of that, what kind of company would I be if I were to hang out? Who wants to be with the cranky pregnant lady who just wants to complain? I certainly don't... I hate feeling like a no fun stick in the mud.

Reason #5: Bodily functions galore. Without getting too graphic, let's just say that there is a robust list of things that happen to your body throughout pregnancy and it isn't pretty. List includes: constipation, indigestion / heartburn and horrific "i can't stand to be in the same room with myself" gas... I wonder what's next???

Reason #6: Having to hear other people talk about how great they felt during pregnancy is torture. Each time I hear "I felt sexy while I was pregnant" or "I still work out every day even though I'm 7 months" I want to scream!

Reason #7: Constant fatigue. I'm freaking tired man... All the time. I sleep about 12 hours a night and still want to nap every day... How is that possible?

Reason #8: I'm not comfortable... My belly just feels so big and tight... My back aches... I feel like my balance is totally off and I may tip over at any moment.

Sentenced to 9 months hard labor...