Our lucky little guy

It's been a busy few weeks, which is why I haven't been posting nearly as often as I'd like.  I will catch you up on what's been going on and try to keep it brief...

First off, hubby quit his job.  So, the awful commuting to Connecticut is now over!  YAY!  He starts his new job on July 25, so we've spent the last week or so getting ready for baby and for the move downtown. There have been many trips to The Container Store, West Elm, CB2, Buy Buy Baby, Bed Bath and Beyond, Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel, Home Depot, Benjamin Moore, etc... you get the drift.  We're trying to get things purchased and/or ordered so that we can get the apartment setup quick, just in case little Brady decides to make an early appearance.   Also, since our movers are also going to be packing us up, we wanted to make sure that we weren't taking lots of crap with us (since usually we do our purging during the packing process).  We've spent the last week going through every nook and cranny of our apartment, deciding what should move on to the new apartment, what should go into storage (i.e. our parents houses in NJ) and what is just garbage... Me, my label maker and my nesting instinct have been a bit of an animal about this whole situation... Our apartment is more organized and neat then it ever was, which is kind of disappointing since we vacate in a week!  I just wanted things to be organized so that when the movers come in, it will be easy for them to group things together and I can just focus on hovering and labeling boxes.  Since hubby will be in his first week of work, his mom will be coming into the city to assist me in the hovering and labeling process...

We also decided to paint the new apartment... something we've never done before.  Living in NYC and moving every few years, it just never seemed worth the expense to paint.  But since we're in our 30s and with child, we felt it was time to create a home.  Lucky for me, hubby has been an active participant in this process, because picking paint colors is HARD!  We've gone to the paint store a million times, bringing swatches of our bedding and furniture to try and find just the right colors... It's just so hard to look at those little chips and imagine a room of that color.  We finally decided on three colors, kangaroo for the living room (beige-ish), azores for the baby room (blue green) and shale for the master bedroom (a mushroomy color).  We got the paint delivered and hired our buildings maintenance man to actually do the painting. (When I said, "we decided to paint," I hope you didn't think that meant us... we don't know how to do that stuff!)  Apparently, the apartment has been painted, but because the heat index in NYC is over 110 degrees and the air quality is supposedly horrific, I'm not able to go downtown to check it out, which is killing me... I'm dying to know what the colors look like on the wall, with our apartments lighting, etc...

Because of this extreme heat, I'm forced to do the rest of my apartment shopping online... which is ok, but not nearly as fun as seeing things up close and personal, in-store... I've literally spent the past two days just ordering things from everywhere under the sun so that things arrive exactly in line with our move-in date!  I've also been doing the change of address stuff and trying to figure out what I still need for the baby.

This past weekend, my mom hosted my shower.  It was awesome!  Really really nice.  40 of our friends and family joined us at a restaurant in NJ.  My friend, A, was very involved in the planning process and did an amazing job helping with the party decor and games.  There was an adorable clothesline filled with babywear, a stork in each table centerpiece, a little tree where guests were asked to write their well wishes for me, hubby and Brady, a fabulous diaper cake and fortune cookie favors.  It was truly fabulous!

Clothesline with Little Clothes

Centerpieces with Blue Stork

Wishing Well Tree

Diaper Cake

Fortune Cookie Favors

It was so nice to see everyone... Since becoming pregnant, I really haven't seen anyone, so it was nice to have so many family and friends gathered in one place.  It was a bit overwhelming, but I was completely floored by the generosity of everyone in the room.  We got such a tremendous amount of gifts for little Brady.  Toys, clothes, necessities... It was SO SO SO nice and I am so grateful to be bringing our little boy into such a warm and welcoming group of people.  He's a lucky little guy!!

More catchup in the next post!

Last Weekend: H-Fest

Every year, our friend G hosts a big party for all of our friends at his parents house down at the Jersey Shore (the beautiful part of the shore, where there are gorgeous houses and pristine manicured lawns... not the shore you see on TV).  Called H-Fest, we all usually spend the entire weekend reverting back to our old college ways of pigging out, binge drinking, beer pong, etc... Every year there are t-shirts made to commemorate the event and friends come in from all over the eastern seaboard to celebrate.

We woke up on Friday morning to pack and get going (our friends C&L were kind enough to give us a ride from the city... I did NOT want to take the train).  When I woke up,  I nibbled on a chocolate croissant and immediately ran to the bathroom to throw it up... My two week run of no puking was over... Awesome way to start the weekend. 

Since I returned breakfast number 1, we hopped in a cab to meet C&L for brunch before hitting the road to NJ.  The car ride to NJ was pretty quick and luckily our friend S had to pee 1/2 way there so we stopped at a rest stop on the way... I didn't even need to ask!  I did ask them to turn the air up in the car... way up... so I think I froze everyone out... (I noticed goose bumps and cardigans on all...) But nobody said a word... they were very sympathetic to my ridiculously high body temperature.

When we arrived at G's parents house, we all just hung out and helped them get ready for the main event which takes place on Saturday.  Because the weather wasn't very good (crazy rain!) we just hung out and did rainy day activities... It was like camp... Mrs H (G's mom) was a teacher and she had lots of construction paper, colored pencils, etc... So I spent the afternoon drawing pictures like a 15 year old while everyone else moved tables and did manual labor!  We ended up going for dinner at a nearby place and I was designated driver.

The next day it was a beautiful day to go to the beach... so what did everyone do?  They went to the beach... What did I do?  I stayed home with G's parents... I love the beach, but the thought of being out in the sun when I am already so hot all the time just wasn't appealing to me... Also, the bathroom situation leaves much to be desired and so does the bathing suit situation...

It made me think... it can be kinda lonely being the only pregnant gal sometimes... Who would have ever thought that being a party of two, you could feel so alone!

I just can't do all the things I used to do and the last thing I ever want to do is hold others back.  The crew was only gone for a few hours so I hung out on the shaded porch and read.  Once everyone came back to G's parents, the kegs arrived and the party was on.  Most of the afternoon is usually spent in the backyard... bocce, beer pong, etc... Unfortunately for me, it was super hot out and every time I would go outside, I would need to go back inside for at least an hour or two to sufficiently cool down (thank freaking god for air conditioning).  So I didn't really hang out with everyone.  I spent most of the day in the kitchen with Mrs. H, helping with food prep, etc... And then, once the party was in full swing... all the other pregos and babies started arriving!  Finally, I had people to play with!!!!  I heard stories about babies starting to walk at 9 months, other babies born 9 pounds a month early, etc... It was nice to have some peeps who would sit in the air conditioning with me and talk baby, commiserate about pregnancy, etc... It was a far cry from previous H-Fests, but fun nonetheless...

While most of our crew stayed up partying until 3 or 4am, I crashed at about 10 and didn't even feel bad about it... It used to reallllly bother me if I ever missed out on all the late night fun when the silly drunken antics typically take place, but it's gotten easier... and frankly, I'm so tired lately that I just don't care!  So while this year's H-Fest was definitely a different experience for me.  I had a great time!

On Sunday morning I was the first one to rise and asked everyone for a full report on what I missed.  We had our typical jersey shore breakfast... Taylor ham, egg and cheese and then were on our way back into the city!

Takin' the dog for a walk

Since it has been so hellishly hot in NYC, I really haven't been leaving the house during the day.  I've tried a few times and it's just so damn hot out that it's painful... I get tired, feel really fatigued and I start to swell up.

The only time the temperature is reasonable enough for a walk is about 8 or 9pm once the sun has gone down... It's still toasty but at least doable.  So, every night, my husband takes me for a walk.  We live right near the Hudson river, so we take a nice leisurely stroll... It's me and hubby walking along the water with half of the upper west side and their dogs...

We can't walk for too long because my "dogs start barking" (and sometimes they howl)...  I have never experienced foot pain like I am experiencing now... Walking is so painful that every night hubby asks, how far do you want to walk and my reply is, how long do you want to rub my feet?  When I get home I always elevate my feet and do everything I can to ease the discomfort and swelling, but nothing seems to work. 

Between the heat and my feet, I'm beginning to feel a bit like a prisoner... Baby jail.

Nesting or Crazy?

I've been getting emails from pregnancy websites about the "nesting" phase of pregnancy, which I guess I'm in right now... Granted, we're planning a move, not just the setup of a nursery, but I've been particularly motivated to "homemake" these days.  I have been going through all of our closets, drawers and such and just purging and organizing.  Given the pain that results from bending over, I can't do that much at a time, but I try to do at least an hour or two every day and I'm making headway.

Hubby is thrilled... he and I have very different "styles" when it comes to our approach to cleaning / clutter management.. I like piles... having a couple of neat piles doesn't bother me one bit if they're organized.  It drives him nuts.  While I like neat, who doesn't?  I'm not as motivated to achieve neat as he is... We've lived together for almost 10 years and this is still something we debate often... I will freely admit that I'm messier than hubby and he is a far superior cleaner than I am.  What I will also admit, is that there is a method to my madness... I may be messy, but I'm organized!  He's moderately organized, but doesn't hold a candle to me.  The problem with our apartment right now is that we have tons of stuff, but everything is "stuffed" away in random places (NYC living... you store things where there's room) and we don't know where to find things!  My goal in preparation for this move is to get everything organized... All of the tools in one place, electronics / cords in another place, office supplies all together, etc... Right now, things are just stuffed in various places, wherever they would fit... Well, I'm not having it anymore... When we move into our new place, I want to be able to find things... The other problem that both of us have is that we forget... I thought we bought tylenol... where is it?  Medicine cabinet?  Medicine drawer?  Medicine pouch we have for travel?  It usually takes a couple of looks before we find things... Or, one of us will say, I need new gloves... We buy them and then 2 months later discover a treasure trove of gloves that we forgot we had. Well, no more... Our new apartment has a ton of storage space, we're outfitting our closets with some handy dandy container store drawers and cabinets AND I'm adopting the strategy that has kept me so organized in business and bringing it home. 

I ordered a label maker!

Have you ever used one of these things before?  They're AMAZING little devices that help you identify things at a glance.  These little labels will allow me to put an organization system in place and then adhere to it, by plainly saying on the outside of each little box what it contains.  It's perfect.  I am so excited for my best buy purchase to arrive!!  I've already started a list of all of the labels I need to print out.

When you gotta go, you gotta go

One more story from San Diego... Hubby and I are in the bathroom together at my Aunt's house.  I'm getting ready to get in the shower and he's going to pee.  (I tell this story assuming other couples spend alot of time in the bathroom together like we do... but maybe it's a product of living in NYC and only having one bathroom?? regardless, at this point, it doesn't matter where we are... we go into the bathroom together - no boundaries!)  I'm pulling out the towel, assessing the toiletry situation in the shower (making sure there's shampoo, conditioner and soap) while hubby begins to pee.

Like a whirlwind, the bathroom door slides open and my cousin's five year old is pants down, holding his junk, screaming I gotta go potty!  I gotta go potty!  Hubby turns to me, not sure what to do... he's midstream at this point... And I say, step to the side, let him in. I figure they can cross swords... Hubby is actually able to stop mid-stream and step away in time to not get peed on...  The five year old begins peeing immediately and I'm impressed by his good aim... Well done, little guy!

It's amazing how quickly the whole thing happens... Hubby and I are both looking at each other... Don't forget, we just woke up... This is a shocking experience first thing in the morning... Then the 5 year old pulls up his Star Wars pj pants and runs out with the same reckless abandon he had when he ran in.  Hubby and I burst out laughing... To watch this tiny little person kick my big hubby off the toilet, while he was using it, was priceless... And hubby and I thought we had no boundaries!  It was a funny glance into our future with little Brady...

But I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go... As a pregnant lady who pees at least 2-3 times a night, I do understand this...

Time to Get Literal

When I was in San Diego a few weeks ago I was trying to explain to my cousin's five year old that I am having a baby and what that meant - he was going to have a new cousin soon!  I don't have much experience talking to little people, but thought I could handle this...  Here's how the conversation went.

ME: I'm having a baby.  There's a little baby in my tummy.  He's smaller than your other baby cousin's and that's why he is still in his mommy's belly.  He's growing and when he's ready, he will come out and play.

He loses interest and runs around with a light sabre for a few minutes while I wait.

5 YEAR OLD: When's he coming out?

ME: Well, he's still cooking.

5 YEAR OLD: Wait... you're COOKING THE BABY?  eyes open wide... Why would you do that?

ME: Floundering to explain to a five year old that when I say cooking, that I really mean the baby is growing and developing in his mommy's tummy... He looks at me, completely flabbergasted that I would cook my own child and goes back to playing with his light sabre.

And I learn my first lesson in talking to little people...

Everything grinds my gears...

The past couple of days I've been pretty irritable... Not that I'm a patient person... I'm not... but I've been particularly annoyed lately... It could be my discomfort (ohhhh, my aching back), lack of sleep, etc... But certain situations are "grinding my gears" (as Peter Griffin would say) more than normal.

Like, yesterday... hubby tells me he wants to go to see fireworks...It's the 4th, they're on the Hudson river, a block from where we live and he wants to see them.  Despite that many nights I fall asleep before 9pm, I think, ok no problem... I've been pretty lame overall, not up for doing much... so I figure I can make sure I get to fireworks if that's what hubby wants... I had to make some phone calls so I went into the bedroom so I wouldn't interrupt hubby's tv time with my yabbering and he tells me to be ready at 9pm.  I get ready by 9pm and am just waiting for him to come get me in the bedroom... All of a sudden, I notice  it's 9:10... Where is hubby?  I get off the phone and go into the living room... What is he doing?  Playing video games... He's in the middle of a soccer game... I say, aren't we going to see fireworks?  They start in 10 minutes!  He says, when I'm done with my game... So, I get my tired, pregnant ass up and dressed so he can see fireworks and he tells me to wait for him to finish his game... Normally that would be a mild irritation, but yesterday I wanted to clobber him... How dare he make me wait so he could finish a video game that he could EASILY pause and resume when we got back.  I was sacrificing my precious sleep time to go with him to see the fireworks that HE WANTED TO SEE... I frankly, couldn't have cared less about seeing them...  He could not understand why I was so mad... It was seriously like we were on different planets!  I really don't think that men understand the extreme exhaustion of pregnancy and while maybe it seemed like nothing to him to make me wait... he was wasting my precious relaxation time... and for what??? A VIDEO GAME!!  Yes, I'm married to a 15 year old.

And then today... I did something that I have never done in my entire career.  I responded to an email in all caps to express my severe irritation to a completely unaccommodating vendor and then proceeded to vent on the phone to a colleague that I wanted to "pop a cap in his (the vendor's) ass," for being so difficult.  I don't think I've ever even said these words before... But, my fuse is short... and frankly, I don't give a damn....

Height (almost =) depth

I've been spending alot of time measuring furniture and various things, making renderings and floor plan layouts, etc... in preparation for our move.  Today, I decided to do a little self-charting.

The belly is getting ridiculous... I'm short.... only 5ft and I measured my belly and right now from my back to the tip of my belly is about 1ft.  That's not normal! My depth is 20% of my height.  While pre-pregnancy, I was a very shallow curio (for plates and small knick knacks), I am now a deep bookshelf (and we're not talking soft cover books)!

Heavy and tired

Honestly, I have never been so sleepy in my life.  I am so completely and utterly exhausted all the time and the unfortunate thing is that I can't sleep for longer than 5 hours at a clip. 

For the past two weeks I feel like I've put on a significant amount of belly weight (though according to the doctors scale my total weight gain has still only been 18 lbs, completely on track) and I've also also just become so tired that I can't even handle it.  In my first trimester I was definitely tired and took naps when I could (which was an odd phenomenon for me... I'm not a napper).  But that was nothing like the exhaustion I am feeling these days.

Last night I fell asleep at 7:30pm.  Slept until 9 or so, woke up, went back to sleep at 11, slept until 4, got up and ate some Cocoa Puffs, fell back asleep by 6 or so, then slept until about 9 or 10.  And literally, every night lately has been like that... (with many bathroom breaks throughout the night and tosses and turns to wake up sleepy limbs)...

Today, we went for some brunch, ran some errands - Pottery Barn, Bed, Bath and Beyond... you know, the usual stops for a couple who is planning a move in the near future.  By about 3 pm I was bushed!  We came home, made a late lunch and I fell asleep shortly thereafter for a few hours.  Woke up at about 6 or 7, had some cocoa puffs, relaxed a bit more not really able to get up and now, here I am at 10:25pm starving... My plan is to eat some mac n cheese and go to bed... But this schedule is taxing... I'm not used to feeling so lethargic... I would imagine the extreme summer heat doesn't help much. 

I've been SO THIRSTY too... I can't drink enough water, which means that I literally pee constantly... But, I'm very paranoid about dehydration, so it's worth the bathroom trips.

I've also started getting some headaches, which aren't fun at all, but they are easily treatable with tylenol.  I read that they also become more common in the 3rd trimester... sweet!

And finally, I'm sore... the extra weight that I'm putting on is really tough to carry... My feet are killing me and my shoulders and lower back are sore.  I'm trying to do everything the books say... take notice of my posture, etc... but nothing really helps... It's just very hard to get comfortabe.

As moving day and Brady's arrival near, I'm getting a bit concerned that my lack of energy is going to be a huge challenge... How am I supposed to get everything done when I only have very few good hours where I am alert and awake every day?  I'm also still working, though not as much... But it's just tough to juggle everything...

I've also started thinking about (and reading about) labor... I'm still definitely terrified, but as time goes on, I just want this baby out (of course, not before he's ready)!  It's a little less daunting when I think about how I will actually get my body back, not have to carry this weight and will hopefully have a normal appetite again!  Pregnancy has taken such a physical and emotional toll... 

One of my really good friends had a little girl this week and she shared with me some of the intimate details of the labor process... I can't believe how long it can take... She pushed for almost 3 hours!!!  I don't even know if I would have the stamina to do that...  Maybe knowing that there is some Lamb Vindaloo and Chicken Tikka Masala on the other side would help (haven't been able to have my beloved Indian food in 7 months!)... Oh, and finally meeting Brady...

Hubby and I talk about it all the time... What's he going to be like?  We really can't wait until he's here... Of course, we have the normal concerns, is he going to be healthy, etc...?  But then we're also wondering, who is he going to be like?  Look like? etc... It still shocks me sometimes that I'm going to be a mommy and hubby will be a daddy... Like, the way I call my mom all the time and ask her how to do things, he will do that with me... That's wild!  I was joking earlier today, that he would call me and ask me what to do, and I would tell him I would call him back, call my mom and then fill him in! 

Lockdown: Day 3

Since last Thursday or so I've been sick... Started off as the sore throat and now it's just congestion... Cough, stuffy nose, headache, ears hurt, etc... Yesterday I decided to call the doc because I thought that maybe I needed antibiotics.  I spoke with the doctor's assistant and she recommended I spend two days on Robitussin DM, Afrin and Tylenol.  If those don't work, then I can come in on Thursday and she will prescribe me something.  Because I am trying to get better, I've been staying home... haven't left the apartment since Sunday.  It's been amazing to me how busy I've been during these three days... Between work, planning the move and prepping for baby, I've had my plate full! 

Despite not feeling very well, I've accomplished quite a bit work-wise and personally... I selected our new cable / phone / internet provider - Verizon Fios here we come.  I called Time Warner and RCN for quotes as well, but I've heard great things about Fios AND they also had the best prices... No brainer.  I was also able to select a moving company... This was a tough choice and one I didn't take lightly.  Given that I am going to be 8 months pregnant during this move, and my husband will be at work while it's taking place, it was important to me to hire a moving company that I felt confident in.  I had three movers come and meet with me to do in-home evaluations and provide me with guaranteed pricing.  I met with Flat Rate, Moishes and Oz.  After extensive negotiations, research and endless questions from me (one of the movers asked if I was a lawyer) I decided to go with Oz.  They have an A+ rating from the better business bureau and guaranteed me a reasonable price that included packing up everything.  I liked the guy that I met with and he's been very conscientious about follow-up, something I appreciate, since I am also in a client service business.  I've also been able to take care of some of my forwarding address stuff and do some research when it comes to all of the stuff we need to buy - which paints are low VOC and healthier for me and the baby?  what type of vacuum should we buy?  (keeping a clean floor will be more important than ever, with a little explorer crawling around), I want a new camera, do I go SLR or just advanced point and shoot?  I've also built to-scale floor plans of our apartment in excel and mapped out where each piece of furniture will go and now I'm moving on to the kitchen to determine where we will store our food, plates, glassware, etc...drawer by drawer... I know I'm a little bit crazy, but this stuff is keeping me busy and helps me feel in control since I'm not really going to be of much physical help during the move.  Hubby and I have also worked together to pick out paint colors... So far, we have selected colors for the baby's room (Azores by Benjamin Moore) and our bedroom (Shale by Benjamin Moore) and we just need to work on the living room.  I've never painted anywhere I've lived before, and selecting colors is a big commitment (at least two whole years given that that's the length of our lease ;) )

I've also tried to relax a little bit, but that's not easy for me... Though, of course, the moment I lied down to just watch TV yesterday I felt something warm drip from my chin to my chest... I look down and see blood all over my shirt and chest... My immediate reaction is... what the f*** is happening?  Then I remember that nosebleeds are a common occurrence during pregnancy (especially if you're sick)... I run to the bathroom and check out my bloody nose and chest and start doing some clean up.  I've never had a bloody nose before so I run to to the computer to google it and find out what to do.  Then I hear the phone ring... I can't get it, because I have bloody tissues in one hand and am holding my nose to stop the bleeding with the other.. And then, hubby comes home... relief... He see's what looks like a crime scene... bloody tissues in the toilet, blood stained shirt on the bathroom floor... I'm a total mess... But just having him home makes me feel better...

Oy, this pregnancy has been quite a trip... I hate to complain about it (though, I really don't mind) because I am lucky enough to be pregnant.  The baby seems unfazed by everything going on in my life... he's just happy to be doing somersaults in my belly!  He is still moving quite a bit and he's definitely getting bigger... My stomach is growing from cute belly to a whopper of a tummy.  According to all of the sites and books, he should be weighing in at about 3+ pounds by now and measuring at about 16-17"... that's pretty big!  A little more than 8 weeks left and he will be here!!

Technology Woes

As if things couldn't get more complicated, this morning I woke up with a sore throat.... Not only that ... then I puked.  So, I'm now 7 months pregnant and still puking in the mornings.... I had Lucky Charms at 4am, so I don't know why I woke up and puked... AND I had a 1/2 hamburger last night at like 9pm.  I don't know what else to do! I'm trying my best to keep my tummy full, but nothing is working.  I'm still getting sick!

Then, I head off to work.  I put a bottle of water in my bag and begin my walk.  I'm in Whole Foods picking up my chocolate croissant and feel something dripping on me... It's my bag... the cap on the water was crooked and all of the water leaked out and into my bag... I figure there's nothing I can do until I get to work, so I try to checkout at Whole Foods and my credit cards won't work because they're wet.  I end up giving the clerk a soggy $20 and trek on to the subway.  I get to work and pull out my iPhone to discover it wont let me make calls... it doesn't work... It's soaked.  Next I take out my beloved Macbook Pro... it won't work either.  AWESOME!  No phone, no computer.. It's gonna be a productive work day.  I start pulling everything out of my bag and laying it out to dry.  My computer charger is soaked, everything is just destroyed... I start freaking out.  What do I do without a phone and a computer?  One of our interns suggests I go and buy rice and sit my iPhone in it to absorb the moisture... I've heard that that works... I run out and buy rice... put my computer charger in one bowl of rice, my iPhone in the other... I wait... I wait... I wait... After fiddling... the computer and charger seem to be ok... Unfortunately, that doesn't hold true for my iPhone... the phone function doesn't work and it's completely dark.  I wanted to get a new iPhone anyway and switch from ATT to Verizon, but still... not like this... And since my contract isn't up, I'm going to get dinged for fees... Ayiyi...

And being without a phone, SUCKS!  I am so reliant on it... Luckily I was able to back it up on my computer one last time, so i didn't lose anything....

Stressing

The funeral was sad. It was graveside and my uncle Larry was the only one in the family who could gather himself enough to speak. He recalled anecdotes that we had all shared with him... Like the time me and some of the cousins stole Aunt L's hairnet and the ruckus it caused. And also the time when Aunt L was visiting us in NYC and we took her to a comedy club. The comedian on stage loved her at first sight and started asking her questions... Like if she had ever given anyone the finger... He asked her to give him the finger and she starts playfully wagging her pointer finger in that, you were a naughty little boy, way. The crowd erupted in laughter. And she made such an impact that five years later, when we all visited the same comedy club, the comedian remembered her!! The funeral had lots of laughs but also a ton of tears. My husband was one of the pallbearers... Watching him carry that tiny casket with all of my cousins was truly sad and then we each took a turn shoveling dirt over her grave. I couldn't lift the shovel so hubby helped me.

After the funeral we all went back to Aunt B's house and I think people who came to the house were a bit shocked... They may have expected a somber house filled with people crying, but it wasn't... The music was on, the sangria was flowing and the mood was celebratory. She was a great woman, who led a great life and her dying wish was that we not mourn her. So while some family members had a harder time with that then others, it was truly what she would have wanted.

The next day we prepared to fly home... Just hubby and I stayed at Aunt L's condo the night of the funeral... The apartment had nothing in it besides her personal belongings/furniture (no food, etc...) so as soon as we woke up we headed back to Aunt B's.  Unfortunately, as soon as we got into the car, that familiar feeling came back and I puked for the first time in weeks.  It sucked, but since I hadn't eaten since our early dinner post-funeral, I was running on empty... Despite that I woke up in the middle of the night and ate a Luna bar, I still puked.  Once we got to Aunt B's I ate two mini bagels and a yogurt and felt a bit better... Wasn't a great way to start the day we were flying home...

The flight was fine thanks to some pizza hut before we boarded... Hubby was diligent about waking me up every hour so that I could walk the plane (doctors orders to prevent blood clots) and I made sure to drink lots of water and eat the many JetBlue snacks they hand out.  Even though we landed at 9pm and didn't arrive home until 10, I made myself a pasta dinner when I got home.  I didn't want to puke again the next morning because I didn't eat enough.

Then yesterday morning reality set in... Holy crap, I am behind... with life, work, etc... Unfortunately, the world doesn't stop when you decide to take a few days to be with family.  I had a doc appt where she told me all looked good... I gained 2 more lbs, right on track, and she wanted to make sure I was still taking the iron pills she recommended for the mild anemia I was now suffering from.  I spent all day yesterday trying to do everything... Schedule my move, get caught up with work, my social life, etc...

Oh, and did I say, schedule my move... because in NYC that is no easy fete... Coordinating elevator reservations with two buildings, dealing with moving a few days before our lease starts and the costs involved, etc... Today I met with two moving companies and learned that I'm planning a move on the most expensive day of the year.  Awesome.  Oh, and did I tell you that I ate a banana today and then puked it up?  That was awesome... I'm stressed... really, super duper stressed.  And I'm trying to eat something, but I'm not hungry... I HATE eating these days.. It's such a chore, nothing tastes good... And I have to leave for work in 8 minutes for a meeting... deep breaths, deep breaths...

Celebration of a wonderful lady

My flight to California was pretty uneventful.  I followed doctor's orders and walked around the plane just about every hour and drank TONS of water.  The traveling was much easier than I expected it to be.  Hubby and I had a row all to ourselves and were stationed right near the bathroom, which was necessary given my water consumption.  Also, because we were on Jet Blue we had TV to watch the whole time, which made the flight go much faster.

When we arrived we went straight to my Aunt B's house to see my great Aunt L who was really not doing well.  She was experiencing moments of lucidity, but they were becoming few and far between.  Her breathing was becoming more labored but her pulse was still pretty strong.  When we arrived, we were quickly ushered down to my cousin's room where she was spending her final days.  Hospice was there giving all of my Aunt's and my mom some additional instructions on caring for Aunt L.  It was a bit shocking to see her.  Aunt L, the matriarch of our family, was always a feisty fireball of a woman, all 4'9" of her, but here she was, lying in a hospital bed, no makeup (despite the fact that she kept asking for lipstick, even in her final days) and largely helpless. She never wanted to be a burden on ANYONE, and we all knew that she would hate the way her last few days were transpiring.  I was told by my cousin's and uncle who are doctors that she knew I was in the room and it was the time to say goodbye.  She may be around for a few more days, but her lucidity would become less frequent.  My brother joined me in the room and we just sat there staring at her and crying... I knew it was going to be one of my last opportunities to talk to her, but I was just speechless.   I literally had no idea what to say besides "I love you Aunt L." She was the only grandmother I ever had... Despite that she wasn't my real, blood grandmother, she was the only one I ever knew.  My mom's parents unfortunately both died by the time she was 5 years old.  So, she and her sister moved in with their mother's sister, Aunt L, and her husband and two girls (Aunt B and Aunt J).  It's really sad for me when I reflect on the fact that my mom missed out on having a mother of her own and now, her mother figure from age 5 onward was quickly deteriorating in front of our eyes.

After about 20 minutes or so in the room with Aunt L, we left and joined the rest of the family.  In all, there were 26 of us all at Aunt B's house.    As soon as Aunt L took a turn for the worse, we all hopped on planes from assorted cities around the country to be there to honor dear L.  She would have been thrilled that we were all together and I think she knew.  We're very fortunate that three of my family members are in medicine... two doctors and one surgeon... so we had around the clock care for Aunt L in the home, administering the necessary drugs to ease her pain.  One of my uncles is even a social worker and he deals with people in their last days all the time, so it was also nice to have someone around who could fill us in on how the final days could transpire and provide us with some insight from personal experience as to the signs of when a person is truly going to pass on.

The next two days were a little bit surreal... We couldn't all just sit around her bed all day and since we aren't all together that often, we tried to keep busy and enjoy being together... Some of us handled meal planning (cooking / preparing meals for 26 is a job in and of itself, necessitating multiple trips to Costco with lots of cars) while others rotated tending to L. It's so wonderful that Aunt B has a house that can easily accommodate our family of 26.  It's literally a house built for entertaining (including everything from a movie theater room and firepit to a swimming pool and pool table).   And while we were all sleeping at assorted houses/hotels, we all used Aunt B's as a home base since that was where Aunt L was spending her final days.  

Watching the different personalities in my family deal with the grief of losing our matriarch was really interesting.  Some of the family couldn't tend to her, do the diaper changes, washings, etc... They contributed to the effort by doing grocery shopping and providing activities for the many cousins.  While others, had a hard time leaving the house... That included my mom.  She's a complete nurturer and spent a ton of time with Aunt L in her final days and hours.  Aunt L acted as her mother from age five on.  They were extremely close... just as close as mother and daughter.  They spoke daily and I think my mom was incredibly grateful for the wonderful home Aunt L gave her after the tragedy of losing her parents at such a young age.

I can't lie and say that the past couple days were completely miserable.  While difficult, in the spirit of Aunt L's life and wishes that we not mourn for her, the family really took advantage of the time together to enjoy one and other.  Some of the men went on a boat ride (one of my uncles has one his boats docked in San Diego), while others would go on hikes in the nearby mountains.  The women in the family took frequent shopping trips to get out of the house and we all also did what Jewish families are known for... We ate.  And we ate and ate and ate and ate.  We cooked in the house, family friends sent trays and platters over and we even went to one restaurant that we completely took over.  While the reason we all got together was incredibly sad, we all really did our best to spend quality time together and bond.  One night we all huddled around the firepit on my aunt and uncle's wrap around balcony and just all told jokes... we really needed the laugh!

This week made me incredibly grateful for my wonderful family.  Despite being a hoard of 26 and living all over the country, we're incredibly close.  I'm really excited that little Brady is going to be born into such a big, tight knit family with so many cousins, Aunts and Uncles that he's not going to be able to keep them straight!  It's also been really nice for me that hubby is such an integral part of the family.  I mean, he has been around everyone for 14 years, but he just really fits in with our brood.  We're loud, in each others business and our dynamic is COMPLETELY different than his own family, yet he easily gels with everyone. Of course he was there supporting me, but he was also hugging my uncles as they shed tears when their mother-in-law passed, and did whatever he could to help Aunt B, our host, with whatever she needed.  Aunt L really loved my hubby and that means alot to me.

Hubby spent alot of time also contributing funny/charming Aunt L stories to our conversations this week... Like, when he went off to college, she sent him there with a tin full of her famous peanut butter blossom cookies so he could make friends.  And apparently it worked, he did meet one of his really good friends early on and they enjoyed peanut butter blossoms together!  After that, she sent him tins of cookies so he could maintain his friendships!  Hubby also recalled a story about when Aunt L was visiting with us in NJ and the phone rang... She went to answer it and couldn't figure out why nobody was responding on the other end... We had to tell her that she was answering the remote control!  The stories could go on (and I'm sure they will in future posts)...

Yesterday she passed.  I'm staying at Aunt B's and have been waking up early.  I went to sit with Aunt L at 7am... The whole idea was for her to never be alone... We wanted someone to be there as she took her last breath.  I just sat there counting the seconds between her breaths and thinking about all of our wonderful times together.  While it was hard to see her like this, I was really happy to be there.  Throughout the day her breaths became further apart.  We all rotated spending time in the room, some went on hikes, or out for lunch, etc... I went with Aunt B to walk her dogs in the neighborhood... She had Brownie and I had Alfie.  We didn't make it very far when Brownie darts behind a bush and grabs a bunny rabbit, shaking him violently.  We got Brownie to drop the bunny, but unfortunately, the bunny was dying.  Brownie had NEVER done this before.  Aunt B and I ran home and sent one of the men to retrieve the bunny, who was dead upon arrival.  We took this occurrence as a bit of an omen... Today was going to be the day.  Afterwards, I joined some of the guys and we went to an authentic mexican spot for lunch.  When we got back to Aunt B's we all just kinda hung out... I wasn't feeling that great, so I took a nap at around 3pm.  I woke up at about a quarter to five and was upstairs with hubby having some water, when I thought I heard a family member say something I wasn't sure I was ready to hear.  I run down the stairs and learn that she just passed and took her last breath.  My mom, Aunt L's daughters and all of the husband's were in the room when it happened.  We all gathered around her bed and cried, said a prayer and then sprung into action... Calling the funeral home, hospice, the family members who were out running errands and the few extended family members who were not around.

The mood in the house changed a bit... it turned pretty quiet, but didn't stay that way for long.  Once everyone was back at the house we all sat around telling stories and making dinner.  We decided that instead of mourning, we would turn the evening into a celebration of her life.  We turned the music up, busted out the cocktails (none for me) and all just reminisced and shared wonderful memories.  When the funeral home came, we all gathered around her as they wrapped her up and took her out of the house.  At 92 years old, Aunt L led a wonderful life.  She was driving up until this past May... She was with "it" and active her whole life and that demanded a celebration.  We bbq'd and just spent quality time together... everyone pitched in.

We will all be together today and tomorrow to continue the celebration of her life and mourn her death at the funeral.  I think today we plan to bust out the home movies and sit around the home theater and just remember the good times we all had together.  It's definitely what she would have wanted!

Rough week

I started another post and never finished it... It was all about my weekend and what I did... It was rather light and fluffy but today I'm not feeling light and fluffy so I don't have the energy to finish writing it.  This has been a really really rough week.  On Monday I took a pretty bad spill... I was crossing the street and my flip flop got caught on the perimeter of a sewer cover and I tripped and fell right in the middle of the street.  Luckily all the traffic was stopped at a light, but my wallet flew from my hand, I landed on my right knee and caught myself with my palms and according to my colleague S my belly never touched the ground.  She said I pulled some crazy maneuver where I rolled immediately onto my side / back... I guess it's those motherly instincts to protect the belly... It was a pretty humbling moment and while I knew it wasn't my fault, I felt absolutely terrible and was on the verge of tears the rest of the day.  What if I had landed on my belly?  Or got hit by a car?  I would never forgive myself.  I was freaking out the rest of the day, but Brady made it known he was quite alright with frequent kicks, etc... He really is an active boy.  And lucky for me, I escaped the situation with nothing but a nasty bruise on my knee.

This week was also my last week going into one of my client's offices.  I love this client... LOVE the people I work with and the brand is a DREAM!  While I'll still be consulting from home for the next few weeks, I won't be going into the office anymore and that's really sad to me.  My colleagues bought me lunch, planned a nice little party for me (complete with a clothesline filled with baby booties) and a cake.  They also presented a powerpoint card set to the song "Push it," that included pics of me throughout my time there and words of advice from the team on parenthood!  It was very sweet and I really appreciated it.  I packed up my belongings / desk, which was really sad for me...

But nowhere near as sad as today.  My dear dear Great Aunt, who is really the only grandma I have ever known (she raised my mom after all) is gravely ill and will likely not make it another few days.  She is suffering from liver, pancreatic and lung cancer (which were all just diagnosed a mere few weeks ago).  She lived a wonderful, long life, 92 years, and isn't suffering, but she has given up and wants to pass on.  The turn in her condition happened very quickly and my whole family is gathering around her right now in San Diego.  Everyone is either in-flight or getting ready to go and I was faced with the decision about whether to join them... At 29.5 weeks my doctor saw no reason to restrict my flying.. She just told me to drink alot of water and walk every hour on the plane to prevent blood clots.  After much consideration, I decided I wanted to go and be with everyone.  My family is very close knit and it just didn't feel right to not be there.  I got on the phone with hubby, who I knew would never let me go alone, and made the arrangements.  We fly out tomorrow to say goodbye to one of the greatest ladies I've ever known.  I really hope she waits for us to get there before she passes on.  I know that's selfish, but I really want the opportunity to say goodbye.  Regardless, I'm happy to be going to a place where I will be surrounded by those that love her and will miss her like I will. I am a bit nervous to be flying and to be out of town... I've become really fussy in my pregnancy with regards to my sleeping arrangements, food, etc... But since hubby is coming, I know he will make sure I'm taken care of... And I will be surrounded by family... I know everyone will do their best to make me comfortable despite the circumstances.  That's all I have to really say for now.

Wiggle Monster

My ability to sleep has gotten progressively worse... I sleep a few hours, then am up for an hour or two.  The pattern usually kicks off at 9pm and goes straight until around 8, 9 or 10am. I typically go back and forth between the bed and the couch for a change of scenery... I guess this is preparing me for the constant feedings and having a newborn.... but I still have 11 weeks until baby is born and I want to enjoy them (if that's possible in this horrific NYC heat).

Something that's starting to worry me a bit is that this baby doesn't sleep very much. He is a wiggle monster! Constantly moving... It's like Cirque du Soleil in there accept I look like the freak. I was sitting with a colleague the other day and he could actually observe the bulges and movements happening in my belly through my dress.

Cribgate 2011

So, we ordered baby furniture last week.  It took me a long time to find furniture that I liked.  I knew I didn't want anything white or super traditional... That's just not my style... it's too baby-like (I know, I know, he's a baby... I just don't like it).  I wanted something a little more natural, rustic, kinda vintage.  I checked out all the usual suspects including Pottery Barn, Land of Nod (Crate and Barrel's kiddie furniture), Bellini (NYC institution), etc... and finally decided that Restoration Hardware was the place for me.  Their stuff is beautiful, well made and not exorbitantly expensive. 

There were a few different styles that I had a hard time choosing between.  Ultimately, hubby and I both decided that we liked The Emelia collection... It's a beautiful French gray color, unlike anything I had ever seen before... I had some concerns that it was a little girly for my little guy, but figured that, well, he is a baby.  I also showed it to my mom, colleague S and hubby many times and we all agreed that it was great.  I placed the order and was done. 

The next day I was at J's office and his wife / my friend A came by with baby H and then my hubby came... Me, hubby, J, A and baby H were going to have dinner... We were all huddled around my desk and I asked A what she thought of the furniture.  Always honest, she told me that she thought it was a bit girly and that the Emelia collection was what she had selected if she had a little girl. She goes on to ask us if we read the description on the website... I realized I didn't and neither did hubby... We just looked at the pictures.  So, we go to the restoration baby and child website and read the description of the Emelia line.  We see words like "feminine grace" and then A suggests using the zoom tool to take a closer look of the furniture (something we hadn't done before)... We uncover flowers etched in the wood and hubby starts to freak.  We ordered our little boy girls furniture... OMG OMG OMG... we have to cancel it.  Granted, I didn't notice the flowers or the "feminine grace" descriptor, or even that with a name like Emelia, it was more geared for a girl, I was thoroughly annoyed... Hubby had examined this furniture over and over, gave his blessing, even after I had mentioned that I thought it was a little girly.  His defense... I just don't really pay attention... Typical!

We both agreed that we didn't want our boy to have girl furniture, so despite spending 45 minutes on the phone the previous night ordering everything, I picked up the phone and called Restoration Hardware and canceled the order... Luckily, it was no problem at all.  And we decided to move forward with The Kenwood... a collection that we all deemed to be more masculine.  And it was a bit less expensive, so it all worked out!

Waddle ya know

I have long known that pregnant ladies are susceptible to the waddle. I'm not talking about that jowl under your chin, but the penguin-style walk that tends to occur as a result of becoming middle-heavy and carrying that extra weight. My weight gain so far has been  perfect according to my doctor (who I saw today). I'm between my 28-29th week and have gained a total of 16 lbs according to the official doctor scale.

If I gain a lb a week until the end, that will bring me to 28 lbs total, which is in the healthy range of 25-35 lb weight gain (my doc told me to aim for 30).

Anyways, the waddle... I thought I was looking pretty trim and managing my weight gain well, avoiding the waddle. Well... I was at a trade show earlier in the week and saw a Mag publisher who I hadn't seen in a month... What does he do when he sees me? He waddles (in an exaggerated way) over... Clearly poking fun at me. He's a wonderful guy who I adore (we have a monthly pizza date that I always look forward to - a new spot every time). So, I guess my time is here... I'm a waddler. He wouldn't have done that if he hadn't noticed my waddling.

I've been trying to be so careful to walk with straight legs, not all turned out, but I guess it's just unavoidable.  I'm officially a penguin.

Catch up

It's been a while since my last post!  More than a week... I've been pretty busy.  Memorial Day Weekend, we hung around the city on Saturday and did lots of walking... My feet have NEVER hurt that much before.  I'm used to walking alot but we basically walked across the entire city and I thought I was going to fall over when we got home.  My tootsies have never been so sore and swollen...

On Sunday we packed a bag (which included my snoogle) and hopped on horrible NJ transit to go see our friends G and M in Sea Girt, NJ (the beach!!)  I needed to get out of the city... It's been a while since I've gone anywhere and despite my concerns about sitting on a train when I pee every 15 minutes and being sick and not at home, G's family and house feels like a second home to me... We're very close to his parents and knew that if we were staying at their house I would be well taken care of and comfortable!  It's always well stocked with food and has all of the comforts I enjoy at home!  After a long train ride (where I made sure to eat constantly) we arrived in the Girt... I swear, the air is just better down there!  It's so nice.  My hub, G and M all decided that a day of drinking and eating at local marinas and beach restaurants was in order so I played designated driver as we just bopped from place to place enjoying the sun, seafood and beach air.  We bbq'd that night (the produce down there is pretty amazing also - veggie kabobs!!) and then we all enjoyed Sunday sundae's and went to bed.  I slept great (it's very nice that they have a king sized bed for us .... between my belly and my snoogle, I take up more room than ever before and there's no way hubby and i would both fit in anything less than a queen!)  When we woke up, we had a great breakfast, went for some Strollos (the best italian ice ever) and then headed back to the city.

Last week was pretty busy... I felt good (no puking, though I did take some kytril).  I had a ton of work to do, so that really consumed me... This week is my last full time week of work before I scale back my time and begin working fewer hours and more from home, so I'm trying to get as much done as possible... The whole "scaling back" thing is a bit tough for me... I don't want to let certain things go AND I also don't want to be bored... So, I have a few more days to figure out my game plan and luckily both of my clients have been so wonderful and flexible about my situation.  They know that I won't let anything fall through the cracks....

Hubby and I really want to take a trip before Brady is born but things have been so volatile with me getting sick, that we're a bit afraid to be anywhere but home.  Unfortunately, one of my nearest and dearest relatives is extremely ill and suffering from lung, pancreatic and liver cancer.  She lives in California and I really want to see her before the baby is born.  The doctor says I can travel but I'm worried to... Can I live without all of my creature comforts for a few days?  Would I even need to?  Will I be uncomfortable traveling for all of that time?  Cali is far.  BUT, if she passes and I don't get to see her, I will be pretty upset. And we have to decide soon because prices are going up. 

He kicks me when I'm down

Two nights ago I hung out with A and baby H. He does this new thing now where he squeals and makes all of these adorable noises... It's so cute! We gave him a bath, which was also fun and then we put him down in his crib where he proceeded to scream for 50 minutes. A is trying to get him on a better sleep schedule so I distracted her as we turned up the music and just let H wail! He eventually stopped and just went to sleep. Then his daddy, J, came home and we ate dinner. I had a veggie kabob which I think of now as my nemesis...

I woke up in the middle of the night with horrrrrific heartburn. I took pepcid, which took the edge off, but didn't really help that much... It also didn't help that Brady was wiggling and kicking like a mad man... After about 2 hours, I fell back asleep.  I woke up super hungry and made myself a bowl of cheerios and banana which were promptly returned into a nearby Ziploc bag (it was actually a 2 bag morning)... WTF!!???  I'm close to 7 months pregnant and STILL booting... This is not cool.

And on top of it I had a full day of meetings planned in the office... If I had known that I was still going to be sick like this I would've stopped working (outside of the home) a few months ago.  As much as I love what I do and the people I work with... Feeling obligated to go into the office when I feel like total crap is the worst.  I would actually pay them to not have to go... Once I'm in the office it's actually ok... it's the commuting that sucks... the 10 minute walk to the subway... the steps to the subway, waiting for he subway, taking the subway, the steps up from the subway... walking to the office, etc... Needless to say, I was a total GRUMP in the office.  I was productive, was a good little worker bee, but I was just not in the best of moods... All I wanted to do was crawl into the fetal position and cry.  Last night hubby fetched me at the office and we came home where I had some buttered noodles and went to bed by 9.

I woke up in the middle of the night with heartburn... I'm getting worried that this is turning into an every night occurrence.  I was once told that as the baby begins to take up more space in my tum, all my organs are shifted up and since I'm so small, there's very little room for any stomach acid to go, so it inevitably heads upwards, thus causing the heartburn... Ayiyi... The good news is that today I'm working from home and I was able to keep my breakfast down. 

Our application for the new apartment was approved this week so tonight we're going to sign the lease!  YAY!  Then it's a 3 day weekend... I really can't wait... Three days where I can just sleep, relax, run errands at my leisure, etc... :)

A total bust

I have been waiting all year for it to get warm. I HATE the cold.  I bought very few cold weather pregnancy clothes because I figured I would be my biggest in the warm weather and all my summer dresses would fit over my bump.

What I didn't count on was my expanding bust line. Now that it is 80 degrees and sunny I have discovered that yes, my dresses all do fit over my bump, but only 2-3 of them can keep my puppies in place. Boobs have never been an issue or a consideration for me... Mine have always been proportionate to my frame, fit nicely in my clothes, etc...

A few weeks ago I started to notice that I was busting out of my bras, but being a minimalist (or cheap) I figured I could squeeze into my bras and didn't want to invest in new ones. That was until I started getting horrific lines from my bras, had horrible side boob bulges, and even experienced a few nipple escapes! I went to Victoria's Secret to get measured and purchase bras that fit and was shocked when the sales lady told me my new cup size! I actually measured between two sizes and decided to go with the smaller one because there was no way that someone of my size was really the larger one... So, now I have three new, well-fitting bras and boy what a difference it makes!!

The new bras, however, don't help with my dress issue... I guess this weekend I will need to do a little more shopping... That probably sounds like fun to some people... Not me... I HATE shopping...

My life is like a bowl of buttered noodles

Last night when hubby and i were at dinner he said something to me that I had also been pondering...

Will I ever be normal me again? We've both actually forgotten what I was like pre-pregnancy (PP). Before I got all needy and fussy... Back when i was self-sufficient and didn't depend on others to feed me and take care of me so much. Lucky for me, I have an incredibly nurturing husband who has really been tremendous during my pregnancy. He now cooks, does all the grocery shopping and he even greets me outside of the subway station every day after work (or picks me up from work) so that I don't need to carry my heavy backpack.

PP I didn't require so much help... I ate what I wanted (and I mean everything) and I  had an active social life (to the point where during the week hubby and I were only both home max 1-2 days a week together). I had lots of dinner / drinks plans and definitely was not in the habit of coming home from work every day. Of late, my life has turned into my most reliable dinner option - butter noodles. Plain, kinda bland and boring, totally unadventurous, etc... 7 months ago those were not words I would use to describe myself. I'm now that annoying person in restaurants who I typically hate... Asking questions about what's in certain things and how they're prepared and seeing if the chef can do a more mild version of whatever it is so I don't get heartburn...

PP food and drink were the center of my universe. Whether it was planning the next big feast I would cook, making reservations at the hottest new restaurant, or having an all day boozefest with the hubby (we loooooove warm weather and bar hopping on a Saturday afternoon)... My days were filled with good food and drink. Now they are filled with pepcid, prenatals and puke bags. If I were to come up with some words to describe my pre-pregnancy self they would be fun, adventurous and independent/carefree/unrestricted.  Will I ever be these things again?? Now I worry about sleeping anywhere but home (if I don't get a good night sleep I most definitely get sick and usually end up a nightmare to those around me) and I prefer eating at home (even though hubby's repertoire is rather limited).  My life revolved around work too... That was a key defining element for me and alot of my sense of accomplishment/self worth was tied to success in the work place. I'm not saying that I don't still love working, but it's much much harder to care about work issues when my back is killing me, I'm being kicked/distracted by my son, trying to figure out what I can shove down my gullet to stave off the nausea, etc...

I'm now definitely a different version of me.

And once the baby is born I don't think it's possible to go back to being the me I used to be...

Bon Weekend!

This was a pretty good weekend overall! The wedding on Friday night was fun... It felt really good to put on make-up and get all dressed up.  I've always been a fairly low maintenance gal but this pregnancy has taken my primping to an all time low... I've been a total scrub lately wearing my one pair of maternity jeans, leggings and cotton dresses... Since the weather has gotten warmer, I don't even dry my hair... And make-up... What's that?  I  had forgotten how good it can feel to put on heels, a pretty dress, etc...

On Saturday we headed downtown to look at apartments... It was a REALLY long day and we saw a few apartments before making our final decision that the first apartment we saw (the one I saw earlier in the week) was really perfect for our growing family - we weren't going to find a better space for the price.  2 br/ 2.5 ba, 1200 sq ft, washer / dryer, etc... And the apartment is brand spanking new so we don't have to move into other people's dirt! The floors are super nice... black, wide plank wood, the master bath has a double vanity (my dream - no more sharing a sink with hubby), super high ceilings, amazing appliances (Miele, Bosch), a ridiculous amount of closet and storage space AND the building is a historical landmark with a gym/yoga studio, game room, golf simulator, etc... It's located in the FiDi, an area that I had major reservations about living, but after spending the day there, walking around and experiencing it's close proximity to the parks (BATTERY PARK), all things fabulous (TRIBECA) and knowing that hubby's commute would be five minutes... it just seemed like a no-brainer.  Both hubby and I felt really good about the decision, so we put in an application. Once our credit has been checked and approved we can move on to a lease signing, etc... There are still a few things we need to figure out about the area, supermarkets, etc... but in our immediate vicinity is just about everything we need, a Duane Reade, Liquor Store, our bank, a few places to eat, etc.. We also did the seamless web check and even on a Saturday (when things in the FiDi are notoriously always closed) 155 restaurants would deliver to us... you can't beat that!

Next we took a short 10 minute walk to Warren 77 (in Tribeca), a bar owned by a NY Ranger, to meet up with some friends for a beer and a water. 

Then we walked a few blocks further north and met up with J and A and baby H for some dinner.  H is getting so big!! It's really crazy to watch him grow up.  He's over 3 months and now smiles and giggles and he's got a personality... It's my first time really witnessing a baby growing up like this (I pretty much see him once a week)... It's wild how quickly they change and even crazier to think that by the end of the year my little baby will be smiling too.

Speaking of my little guy... he's about the size of an eggplant (according to The Bump) and a Hothouse Cucumber (according to Babycenter).  And my uterus is now the size of a basketball!!  I can't believe that! 

Magically delicious puke

Today I'm working from home because my hubby and I have a wedding to attend this afternoon.  Normally work from home days are good for me (meaning I don't get sick) but today that wasn't the case.  I woke up, had my magically delicious breakfast of Lucky Charms (a luxury I've afforded myself during pregnancy) and promptly returned all of the charms into not 1, but 2 ziplock bags  (thank goodness hubby was around to give me bag #2... was necessary).  I then got back into bed for a little bit and hubby made me some french toast and I took a kytril.

I always end up getting sick when I have plans... Last week with the gala and this week with the wedding.  It's so freaking annoying... And then people say things to me like, "You shouldn't be getting sick anymore."  Really?  Well, I am... The frequency has gone down from every day or every other day to about 1x a week, but it's still going on and tomorrow I am 26 weeks!! 

Also, little Brady is more active then ever... He's very fitness-minded and he goes for a jog every morning around my uterus.  Today for the first time, daddy got to experience it and he was amazed at the frequency and strength of Brady's movements... They're pretty powerful and I'm sure they will only get more powerful as space gets tighter for him!

You're probably wondering... so what's going on on the apartment front?  Well, I saw a few apartments this week and I liked one... It's a beautiful, large, brand new apartment, but it's in the shadowy FiDi.  I just don't know if I want to live there... I mean, it's quiet... but that's because there's nothing there.  It's close to Battery Park and Tribeca (a less than 15 min walk) but I'm just not sure... The apartment is pretty awesome, though... AMAZING finishings... all modern and brand new... 2 br/ 2 ba, Washer/Dryer, etc... The other great thing about the building is that it has amenities... a huge, landmarked marble lobby (the building used to be a bank) that would be perfect for indoor strolls in the cold, a big gym, kids playroom, etc... So, hubby and I are going to check it out again tomorrow and we will also be seeing some other spots as well... I just can't decide what's more important to me... big, fancy apartment in the city in a neighborhood that's not the best OR smaller, less fancy apartment in a killer neighborhood that isn't in the city... It's a tough choice!

Balls

This is a big week for my boy... Not only will he be opening his eyes for the first time, he also gets his balls!!!

This is huge!!! His little eyeballs will now be able to see his cute little hands and feet... But even more exciting... apparently he will now officially have a pair!!

They grow up so fast...

On the fence: Brooklyn v. Manhattan

Hubby and I went back to Carroll Gardens yesterday to see if our first impression of the area still rang true and also to check out the apartment one more time. I'm glad we did it, but holy cow it didn't make the decision any easier. We also timed the subway situation again to truly test (on a Sunday - the worst subway day) just how long it took to travel in the city. It was 30 minutes from the upper west side and 8 minutes from downtown manhattan. You can't really beat that!

When we arrived we started by walking around the neighborhood. It was as we remembered. Lots of shops, restaurants and young families that looked like us. Great little markets, toy stores, etc....we had brunch at a cute little restaurant called Verde, walked smith street and then circled back on court street. It's a great little neighborhood that I think me and the little guy would enjoy strolling there every day.

Next we went back to see the apt. We noticed that the surroundings around this particular building were nowhere near as beautiful as the rest of the hood. A garden directly across the street but to the left there's an autobody shop, and next to the garden is a boarded up building (looked like a fire). But beyond that is a tree lined street filled with brownstones and behind the building is an elementary school and a park.

We went into the apartment and it's a nice apartment. About 1100 sq ft, amazing bathrooms and kitchen... But the bedroom and living room aren't as large and open as i would like them to be. We're spoiled right now with massive windows and 15ft ceilings so comparatively, the windows looked small and ceiling incredibly low (though they were just normal and not the loft style we've grown accustomed to). We took measurements and while all of our furniture will fit... It will JUST fit... Will be tight! Tighter than our current space and that's just because of the layout of this particular apartment. And since all of our furniture is less than 2 y/o we aren't looking to replace it (and I think my husband would sooner divorce me than give up his massive couch).

We left feeling completely unsure of what to do... On the one hand, it feels like the right time to move out of the city - I'm a bit over it.. But on the other hand, I'm concerned that I will feel isolated... I mean, none of my friends will come visit me in Brooklyn... maybe once or twice, but not with any regularity... And this past winter I read about how snow removal in the outerboroughs is terrible and people were trapped inside for days... What if me and little Brady can't go for our daily walk in the neighborhood?  (I'm assuming we will go for daily walks, but who knows!?)

I think that's the other thing that's on my mind... I don't really know what I'm going to want once I have a baby and what's going to be important to me (in terms of priorities for selecting a place to live)... One thing I know is that I spend alot of time at home... I can be a bit of a hermit (especially in the cold) so I think having a nice sized place is a necessity... And I would imagine the neighborhood is important since I won't be nearly as mobile when I'm bogged down by baby and baby things... So where does that leave us?

Something is holding us back from signing the lease on this apartment... Is it the fear or change? Are we not ready to leave the city? 

Last night we got on the internet and started doing some real research on city apartments and realistically what we can get for what we want to spend... Most 2br/2ba in Tribeca, our preferred neighborhood, are absurdly expensive... So we started looking at the FiDi... exactly where I didn't want to end up... HOWEVER, we can get an apartment that's similarly priced to the apartment in Brooklyn and with the same, or more, space... But the question is... Do I still want to be in the city?  Or is Brooklyn the preferable option regardless of this particular apartment? And while the FiDi is close to beautiful Battery Park and the restaurants of Tribeca... FiDi in itself is kinda lame... dark, filled with tourists, lots of hustle and bustle, few restaurants, etc... 

All day today both hubby and I did research on city apartments... This told me that maybe we just aren't ready to commit to a move to Brooklyn (or this specific apartment) just yet... something is holding us back. If one of us felt strongly about it, they would easily get the other one to jump onboard (that's how we roll)... But neither of us could really figure out why we just couldn't commit. Honestly, I think we both just want more time so that we can do some more due diligence in the city but unfortunately, time is not on our side... This apartment in Carroll Gardens will go if we don't snatch it up and I have very mixed feelings about that...

I made some appointments to see apartments in the city this week and we'll see how that goes... I hate the idea of rushing into something!  This is a pretty important move... Granted it's only a rental, but I want the apartment where we raise our little boy (until he is 2) to be nice and comfortable for our family.